HER OWN MEDICINE

Mary: "Going out to the drug-store, dad?"
Dad: "Yes, Why?"
Mary: "Bring me back a couple of pills with you?"
Dad: "What's the matter with those that have been calling on you?" -- America's Humor.

FLAPPER FLIPPANCY
One-half of me would be a saint,
The other half a sinner;
And I will utter no complaint,
Whichever part's the winner.

FLAPPER: I'd like a pair of garters, please.
MALE CLERK: Yes, miss. Something like the ones you have on?

WONDERFUL
CUSTOMER: What is this device?
AUTO DEMONSTRATOR: That shuts off the spark.
CUSTOMER: And what is this thing for?
AUTO DEMONSTRATOR: That shuts off the gas. And this other little device is the best feature of all.
CUSTOMER: What does it do?
AUTO DEMONSTRATOR: It shuts off the conversation on the back seat.

STORK WAS JUST TEASING
Mr. and Mrs. Raymond Poquette, of Chicago, were expecting a visit from the stork. Poquette wanted a son, his wife preferred a daughter. When at last the stork arrived the anxious father was informed he had a brand new daughter. Almost before he could get over the shock the nurse told him of the arrival of a second daughter. When a few minutes later the nurse again approached Poquette he braced himself for another shock. This time he was told he had a charming boy. Then the father cheered up; at last he had got his wish.

CAUGHT
YOUNG WIFE (to her friend): Just think what a painful position I am in. While I was fainting because my husband would not buy me a new hat I saw him kiss the maid -- and I can't say anything about it because I was supposed to be unconscious!