An Experienced Man

1895

She whirled through the railroad station and went up against the uniformed veteran at the gate of the train shed.
"What time does that train go?" she asked excitedly.
"In half an hour, madam."
"Well, I want to go in and tell some friends goodby."
"Sorry, madam," he sighed, "but I can't let you go in. we can't have the train delayed." — Detroit Free Press.


Indolent Rossini

Rossini was one of the most indolent men that ever lived, yet he wrote operas against time, as it were. "The Barber of Seville," for instance, was written and mounted in less than a month, which fact gave rise to Donizetti's cogent witticism. Upon being told that Rossini had finished his opera in 13 days Donizetti replied: "It is very possible. He is so lazy!"


The Doctor Prescribes

Jimson — Doctor, I am getting too stout for comfort, and I want your advice.
Doctor — Nothing reduces flesh like worry. Spend two hours a day thinking of the unpaid bill you owe me.