Like Jesse James, All But The Horse

1920

Tippler Hurls a Parting Shot at the Booze Bandit.

One of those present at the funeral of John Barleycorn was a negro who entered a saloon in St. Louis, Mo., and called for a drink of whisky. He laid down a dollar bill. The bartender rang up 50 cents and handed back the change. After glancing at the change and then at the register, the negro called for "another drink of the same."

He drank it and pushed over the half dollar. The bartender rang up the 50 cents, smiled and stood at attention.

"Are you the boss?" inquired the negro.

"Sure."

"Have you got a horse?"

"No, why?"

"Well, Jesse James had a horse," said the negro, turning on his heel and departing.



Found It So

Molly — "Our doctor told me today that hammocks are not good for one."
Cholly — "He's right, dear; they're not good for one, but they're all right for two."

—The Saturday Blade, Chicago, Jan. 3, 1920, p. 13.

Is Insanity On The Increase?

1881

Either insanity is on the increase, or the freaks of insanity are brought more prominently before the public than ever before. Scarcely a daily paper but what contains the doings of some crank, and insanity is used as a cloak for all kinds of crime. Last week a man presented himself at the White House and asked to see President Arthur, presenting a letter of introduction which read:

"John Woling: You are hereby notified that Dr. John Noetling is lawfully elected President of the United States, and occupies the White House every day."
"(Signed.)" "ALMIGHTY GOD"

The man was immediately arrested but made a desperate resistance, drawing a revolver, but was overpowered before getting an opportunity to use it. He gave his name as Dr. John Noetling.


Jesse James Gang

The James boys are now reported to be in Kentucky, where several attempts have been made to capture them, but failed. It is also reported, on what claims to be good authority, that Jesse James shot and killed another member of the gang a week or two ago, something about a woman. We hope that he will keep on thinning them out.


Ingenious Swindle

North Carolina will have to be credited with originating the most ingenious swindle of this age of swindlers. Several years ago a man pretending to be half-witted went around the country instituting suits against the responsible men of the community for amounts ranging from twenty-five to seventy-five dollars.

Some parties defended their cases and he did not pretend that they really owed him anything, but acted like a partially demented man would naturally act in such a case, but most of the parties paid no attention to it and judgment was rendered against them by default.

The man never tried to collect any of the judgment and so the thing rested for a year or two, until time enough had elapsed to prevent an appeal. Then the man turned up again not near as crazy as was, and the people of that country found that those judgments were collectable and would have to be paid. While there was no great amount against any one man, yet the aggregate sum amounted to thousands of dollars.

That country is just a little too hot to hold him so he is doing his collecting by an agent.

—The Appanoose Times, Centerville, Iowa, Nov. 10, 1881, p. 2.

Cole Younger

1903

COLE YOUNGER. [Good link]

Unfortunately Minnesota omitted to stipulate that Cole Younger must not write a book.—Milwaukee Sentinel.

Cole Younger, the paroled bandit, is being given public ovations in Missouri, and yet the man never won a prize fight in his life.—Denver Republican.

Cole Younger is now in our midst; but this fact does not cause anything like the alarm it would have caused 26 years ago.—St. Louis Globe-Democrat.

Cole Younger's refusal to consider himself a hero will be likely to give the country the impression that there really is some heroic stuff in him after all. —Denver Republican.

Cole Younger is indignant in his denial of intention to go on the stage. This entitles Mr. Younger to an unconditional pardon, nem con and eo instante. — Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.

Col. Cole Younger is preparing to enter Missouri by way of Kansas City and Kansas City is purple with mortification that Cole Younger should see her union depot at its worst—St. Louis Globe-Democrat.

Cole Younger has advised the Missourians that he does not wish to be received as a hero. In deference to his wishes no brass bands nor beautiful maidens laden with high-priced flowers and with their sweet lips trembling with welcoming sons will meet him at the Lee Summit day-po.—Denver Post.

—Davenport Daily Republican, Davenport, Iowa, March 4, 1903, page 4.

Jesse James Passes In Guthrie County

Jesse L. James, 82, a distant kin of the notorious bandit by that name and the second white settler in Grant township, Guthrie county, died at 11:30 Monday night at the farm home where he had lived since 1858. Death resulted from complications with which he had been suffering since July 3rd.

With his father, the late Joel James, he located on a farm three miles north of Adair in 1858, and at the time of his death he was still residing on that farm with his son Lee. - Advocate-Republican.

--The Coon Rapids Enterprise, Coon Rapids, Iowa, April 28, 1931, page 6.