He Got Half the Fine

1895

A man who had been on a hunting trip in the forests of northern Maine vouches for the entire truth of the following story, as he had it direct from the sheriff:

A man who lives in the Mount Katahdin region went into the office of a justice of the peace and inquired about the penalty for hunting deer with dogs, and very particularly as to whether one-half the fine did not go to the informer.

The justice consulted the game laws and assured him that it did.

"Very well," said the man. "I want to complain of myself and settle."

The justice could not back out, and so gave the transgressor "a clean bill of health" upon payment of one-half of the penalty.

It seems that the man got wind of the fact that a game warden had got the "drop" on him on his deer poachings with his dogs and was only waiting an opportunity to arrest him; hence his shrewd bit of diplomacy. — Portland (Me.) Argus.

Interest $13 on $20 Loan

1916

Nashua, N. H., Sept. 23. — M. M. Bakaian, a pawnbroker, was fined $25 in police court today on charge of usury in charging $13.15 interest for 20 weeks and two days on a loan of $20 to Samuel Dusenoff, who gave a watch as security. Bakain claimed that he had bought the watch and sold it 20 weeks later to the man he bought it from. He was also fined $25 for not recording the transaction.

Note: The pawnbroker's name is spelled two different ways, and I don't know which would be right.

Uses Flag for Coat Lining

1916

"Prettiest Thing I Could Find," Tailor Told Court.

BOSTON, Massachusetts — Pankus Brown, a tailor and a United States citizen for several years, admires the flag so much, he told the South Boston district court, that when he wanted to make a fur coat especially attractive he caused his assistant to use a silk flag for lining.

"I meant no insult to the flag," Brown pleaded, when charged with misuse of the national emblem. "I wanted to make the coat look nice and I used the prettiest thing I could find. That flag cost me a lot of money."

The court ordered him fined $50.

—The Saturday Blade, Chicago, Sept. 16, 1916, p. 11.

A Promoter of Pedestrianism

1902

"So you are going to get an automobile!"
"Yes," answered the man who is always thinking of his health. "The doctor says I must walk more."


A Conclusive Objection

"Poverty is no disgrace," said the young woman with ideas of her own.
"No," said Mrs. Cumrox; "it's no disgrace. But it certainly is extremely unfashionable." — Washington Star.


Softened Grief

Wilson — "I lost that fine silk umbrella that I carried in town to-day."
Mrs. Wilson — "Oh, what a pity!"
Wilson — "There is one consolation, it wasn't mine."—Somerville (Mass.) Journal.


Another Advance

She — "So you think the necessities of life are constantly advancing in price? For instance?"
He — "Well, the average fine for 'autospeeding' has advanced from $10 to $30 within a year." — Puck.


Correcting Him

Gabbleton (effusively) — "Why, hello, Grimshaw! Glad to see you're back."
Grimshaw (coldly) — "This is my face you are looking at, Gabbleton." — New York Journal.