Mechanical Music

1895

The Wail of a Professor Who Declares That Learning Is a Lost Art.

"What for I look blue?" said the professor. "I will tell you. I look blue because my beezness is being — what you call him? — keeked out. No — ah, yes — knocked out by the maker of those stupid mechanique instruments of music. There is no longer any need to learn the piano, for, see, all you do now is bring in the telegraphique wires from the street, and the piano will play itself. Organ — no. Buy some rolls of papaire and put him in the organ and turn the crank, so, and out will come anything you wish from Strauss to Cherubini. Mandolin — no. For some much too clever Yankee has make another something which you shall button to the piano, and there, my faith, you have your mandolin. Zither — no. For there are the zithers now that you play with a steek. Chord of F, press this steek; cord of B, press that steek, and so on. There is no more need to learn anything.

"Mademoiselle say to me, 'Ah, professor, why should I practice any more when Mees So-and-so, who nevaire took the lesson in her life, has an electrique piano which can play everything as well as you do when she press a leedle button?' And I say, 'Why, indeed?' Then madame say to me, 'Ah, professor, I shall geeve up the mandolin, for I can put a leedle thing to the piano and make it play like the mandolin weeth two fingers.' And I say, `Ah, so?' Then monsieur say, 'Professor, I guess I give up the organ and buy one of those windyphones like Billee Sweetzer have, where all you have to do is to move the feet, and the music come out joost as good as you play,' and I say, 'Was that so?'

'And it ees so. The mechanique music have knocked me out. There is no heart any more to learn anything that take time and patience when you can have all the good music that you like by pressing the leedle button and moving the feet. It ees not the music of the soul, to be sure; maybe it ees not the music of the expression; maybe it ees not music at all. Bah! Who cares? All you want is the tune, just like the organ man and piano woman on the street. Arteest be dam. Vive la mechanique! I am going home to invent a violin electrique and an automatique flute that you shall play with your knees." — New York Sun.

Keating & Shaw

Maine, 1916

Within a year's time, Keating and Shaw of Exchange street, Portland, have become one of the leading automobile accessory dealers in the entire State. They are selling their tires and tubes in every section of Maine and have recently become distributors of the Puritan Tires and tubes manufactured by the Hood Rubber Company of Watertown, Mass.

Another line which they carry is the Pressure Proof Piston Ring, for which they are the State distributors for the Boston Company.

The company is also distributor for the Hill-Smith repair parts for Ford automobiles and also State distributors for the Webber automatic carburetor, which is designed and manufactured for those who want to increase their mileage.

The Webber automatic undertakes to increase the mileage of any automobile from 20 to 100 per cent, and in these days when Standard Oil is fattening up the purses of its stockholders, the Webber is an article which it will pay the motorist to look up, not only to increase mileage, but power.

Another active branch is the vulcanizing department, the process whereby the work is done being called the fuse rubber process. The company uses the same principal in repairing all tires, and are carrying in stock, on hand, and ready for instant use, inside and outside patches, cement patches and other tire accessories which they wholesale as well as retail to garages in Portland and throughout the State.

The company was recently incorporated and has as its president R. L. Keating and as treasurer, H. Earle Shaw. They keep two men on the road constantly. Mr. Keating, who covers the territory down State, and Mr. Verner L. Smith who looks after the company's interests within a distance of 20 and 25 miles.

—The Fryeburg Post, Fryeburg, Maine, Sept. 12, 1916, p. 6.

Clocks With "Wheels"

1901

"Clocks are certainly queer things," said the man who was tinkering at the hall clock in a suburban house the other day. "They get cranky spells just like people. Sometimes they really act as though they were bewitched. A friend of mine had a little clock that had behaved itself and kept good time for years. One day it took a notion to lay off for awhile, and they couldn't get it started again. My friend's wife was cleaning the room several days afterward, and she took the clock and laid it down flat on its back on a chair. It started to go at once and ticked away at a great rate, but as soon as she placed it on end it stopped again. Well, they set it, and for a time it acted all right as long as it remained on its back. But it soon got cranky again and refused to go. The other day, just for fun, they turned it upside down, and, would you believe it, that crazy clock started off again. Now it only runs when it is standing on its head, and they are wondering what new foolishness it will develop next." — Boston Record.

Beware of Empty Gasoline Container

Beware of Empty Gasoline Container

1920

Is More Dangerous Than Full One, Say Scientists

Empty gasoline tanks are always more dangerous than full ones, says the Popular Science Monthly. In most cases some residue remains in the tank or can. The remaining gasoline vaporizes and is explosive. As the tank is being filled this mixture is forced out and will explode if ignited by a spark held near the opening.

To guard against accidents all openings should be blown out with compressed air. If this method cannot be used the cover should be removed and the vapors fanned out. Unless a current of air is circulating gasoline should never be used for cleaning engines or other machinery; and if the air is passing lights should be kept at a safe distance on the intake side of the engine.

Device Will Interest Children Fond of Playing Marbles

1905

Science in the Nursery

This is a country of inventors and an age of machinery. Labor-saving devices enter not only into our work, but also our play, and in our nurseries as well as our shops.

The great American game of baseball has now a special piece of apparatus for nearly every player, and the mechanical ball tosser threatens to supplant the human pitcher. Elaborate devices are used in automobile speed contests, for accurate timing and mechanical starters are to be found on every race track.

The craze for mechanics has reached the nursery. One of the latest contrivances is a device for shooting marbles more accurately and with greater force than can be done by the bare knuckles of even the most expert youngster. The device consists of an arrangement of spring wire of a shape adapted to fit the hand and to engage the marble. By means of a thumb trigger the sphere is ejected as desired.

Patents Hatchway Device

1915

Invention Slides "Strongbacks" Instead of Removing Them

Capt. R. T. Anderson of San Francisco, Cal., has been granted a patent on a device for sliding the "strongbacks" in a hatch to either one side or the other, instead of lifting them out singly and placing them on deck while the cargo is either taken on or discharged.

Under present building plans each of the "strongbacks" is lifted out and laid on deck after the hatch covers have been taken off. This requires some time. Under the Anderson plan these heavy beams are slid back to either one side or the other and then are pulled to position again and pinned in place after the work in the hatch is completed.


Invents Seat for Motorman

Revolves and Can Be Adjusted at Any Angle

A new motorman's seat invented by a Vermont man is said to have an advantage over the ordinary motorman's seat in that it has both a revolving and stationary top. It can also be adjusted at almost any angle by means of a mechanism.

This seat has been in use on all of the cars of the Burlington Traction Company for several weeks and has been found to be satisfactory. It is specially designed for air controlled cars. The work of their manufacture will be begun on a small scale at first, or until a factory can he built or secured.


Here's World's Smallest Saw

Quarter-Inch Diameter and Made for a Purpose.

Probably the smallest "buzz" saw in the world is one that has just been made by Ambrose Thomas, a violin maker. Thomas made the saw blade by hand and it is only one-fourth inch in diameter. The teeth are constructed the same as those on large saws. The blade is attached to a foot-power dentist drill and will saw the hardest of lumber with ease. Thomas uses it for sawing groves in the edge of violins to insert the variegated wood.

Lamp for Chauffeur's Cap

1915

Will Aid Him in Locating Motor Trouble at Night

The troubles of the chauffeur will be cut out to a great degree by the use of a new lamp which has been patented and which contains the essential features of the miner's lamp in the respect that it is a part of the cap.

Mounted on the head, it is always in the right place to shed its best illumination of the work at hand, and here it also leaves the hands of the chauffeur entirely free to make any repairs or adjustments which may be necessary.

The lamp is mounted directly over the visor and the current is supplied by two batteries of a special shape to fit into the construction of the cap, one being disposed of on either side. The cap is made with a flap which comes down over the visor and completely hides the lamp when there is no demand for its services, but when the illuminating rays are desired the flap is turned back and secured with a clasp button at the top.

—Saturday Blade, Chicago, Dec. 18, 1915, p. 9.

Tips for Green Automobilists

1905

Directions and Suggestions Which May or May Not Be Useful

One of the first things required of the genuine automobilist is that he mustn't know anything about it. And the second is like unto the first, which is that a man should disregard his neighbors as much as he loves himself, says Life.

These things being understood in the beginning, your standing among the fraternity is assured. Here are, in addition, a few minor matters that need attention:

When you start out, be sure that your mixture is correct. Put about five gallons of 76 gasoline into your tank, and add to this a couple of highballs for yourself. You will be surprised how much better the machine will run.

Upon the extreme care and minuteness with which you examine your auto before starting out will depend the almost absolute certainty of breaking down. Don't miss anything, therefore, from the steering apparatus to the spark plug.

One of the greatest things about automobiling is the way it trains the senses. By practice you will get so that you can pass through the most beautiful scenery without being aware of it, thus acquiring that superb concentration necessary. And you will soon be able to detect any unusual smell and locate it at once.

Be sure to buy the most complete set of tools known, and then, before starting out, take from them the one tool you will most certainly need and leave it carefully behind you. After awhile this will become second nature, so that you won't even have to think about it.

Remember that to keep your auto in the best condition you must lubricate it constantly. To do this successfully use, say, one-half as much cylinder oil on the machinery as you use on yourself. By and by you can tell by the way you feel whether everything is in good running shape or not.

Do not be discouraged if your carburetor gives out, your batteries lay down on you, your connecting rod refuses to connect, or you are confronted by a missing link in your chain. You are, of course, able to support yourself in luxury and discomfort, or you wouldn't have a motor car anyway; so remember that many a man who has more money than you has had the same things happen to him.

And finally, when you have anything happen to you, keep it secret from the presence of your enemies. But when you lie, lie openly — just as if you believed it yourself.

Gypsy Is Identified by Alleged Victim

1920

Blacksmith Says Woman "Blessed" Away His Bank Roll.

LINCOLN, Neb. — William Dunagan, of Roca, a little village near Lincoln, has identified a young gypsy mother as the woman who "blessed away" $248 of his bank roll in Roca last fall.

Mr. Dunagan is a blacksmith and alleges that the gypsy woman was one of a party riding in eight automobiles that stopped in Roca to have one of the machines repaired.

After he had repaired the car, he says, the woman "blessed him" and took all of the money he had on his person.


20-Cent Tax for Bachelors

Ohio Town Wants Single Men to Pay Sum Monthly

YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio. — Unmarried men who pay no municipal taxes may be taxed at a rate of about 20 cents a month. A measure including that provision was reported favorably by the city council and is being considered by the mayor's advisory board. It was estimated such a tax would net the city $192,000 annually.