Hypnotism, Not Drowsiness, The Cause of Sleeping in Church

1908
----------
WHY THEY SLEEP IN CHURCH.

Hypnotism, Not Drowsiness, Declared to Be the Cause

"Churchgoers don't sleep in church. They undergo an hypnotic trance. The soothing voices and mild music and monotonous recitative of a church service put forth powerful hypnotic influences, and that is why the pews resemble a railroad track in the abundance of their sleepers."

The speaker, a hypnotist, banged the table vehemently:

"Don't laugh," he said. "It's true. Hypnotism, not drowsiness, is what makes you sleep in church. Through your auditory nerve sound waves are passed to your brain that are as effective as though a professional hypnotist had made them. Sound, you know, is the newest and best hypnotic.

"At first, in the church service, the periodicity of the wave alterations is short. There is a little speaking, then more music. And just when you are getting properly lulled the clergyman, in a modulated, agreeable, soothing voice, speaks on and on and on — and you begin to nod. You are, hypnotically speaking, entranced.

"The average church service is a scientifically correct hypnotic instrument. No wonder, then. It puts many of us to sleep."

--The Bayard Advocate, Bayard, Iowa, March 26, 1908, page 3.

An Heir to the Throne

A St. Paul man has discovered that he is heir to a French throne. Our advice to him, however, is to hang onto the job he now has.
----------
A Lowell, Mass., cow gave seven tons of milk in one year. The world would be drowned in milk if everybody kept that kind of a cow.
----------
Common drinking cups have been frowned upon by law in New York. The manufacturer of the uncommon kind has perked up considerably.
----------
A Boston savant announces that he can photograph thought. Now we'll know what a perfect lady really thinks when she runs for a street car and just misses it.
----------
Poultry raising is to be taught at Rutgers college. Somebody there must have an idea that there are people who do not think they know all about raising chickens.

--The Ellis Review-Headlight, Ellis, Kansas, 1911.