Trials of A Bookseller

1895

The Frequent Mistakes Made In Giving the Title of a Book.

"To be a successful bookseller," said a dealer in books, "one must almost be a mind reader. People come in and ask for the most generally known novels by the most distorted names you can imagine. In fact, it is only a novel or a book which has had a great run that stands in fear of having its title mutilated. When a book becomes popular, some one hears another person talking about it and perhaps only gets a vague idea of the import of the title without remembering the exact words. Then they come with no sign that they are in the least doubtful and ask the book dealer for it, who is supposed to know by intuition what is wanted. One of the most mutilated titles is that of "The Heavenly Twins.' You can expect to have this book called for under almost any name. If you are in doubt as to what a person means, "The Heavenly Twins' usually fills the bill. For instance, it is common to have it called 'The Twin Angels.' Then another popular style of the title is 'The Heavenly Prodigals,' or, again, 'The Blue Angels' or 'The Heavenly Angels.' The other day a man came in and asked for 'The Traveling Hebrew.' When I told him I thought he meant 'The Wandering Jew,' he began to laugh and said, 'Well, I was sure he was on the go anyway.'

"Not long ago a lady came in and quietly asked if we had 'Two Boats Which Went By In the Dark.' She was not the least abashed when I handed her 'Ships That Pass In the Night,' nor did she refer to her mistake. One of the most common bulls in a book store is that which people make when they ask for 'a vest pocket edition of Webster's Unabridged,' or 'the Bible with both the Old and New Testaments in it.'

"I had to retire to the office to have a good laugh the other day when a young lady came tripping in and carelessly asked me as she handled some books, 'Have you the "Mill on the Slush?"' She explained that she had made a slip of the tongue when I gave her the 'Mill on the Floss.' It is most common for people to ask for 'Lew Wallace, by Ben Hur.' Not long ago a young man came in and asked for 'that horse book.' We named over a lot of treatises on horses, but he said, It wasn't them.' We were then compelled to confess our ignorance, when he explained, `Well, my boss didn't exactly tell me it was a horse book, but he said to ask for "The Horse With Seven Stables." ' We told him that we thought his boss meant 'The House of the Seven Gables' and gave him the book with the privilege of returning it if it was not the right one. The book never came back. A gentleman who wanted a set of the works of Shakespeare was very particular to get 'an authorized edition.' He said to us, 'Now, I want you to give me a copy revised by the author himself.' But I suppose we have no more trials than merchants in other lines have, and we should be thankful that we have customers, even if they do make bulls. By the way, you may not know that the book trade this season is larger than it has ever been before in the history of the business. People are becoming more literary inclined, so books, especially good ones, are in demand." — Pittsburg Dispatch.

Boys Compete for Title of King Cuckoo

Idaho, 1955

Something new in king titles will be bestowed on a Pocatello High school boy Wednesday at the annual Girls Coed dance.

Seven boys are competing for the coveted honor of being "King Cuckoo" at this "girl ask boy” dance under sponsorship of the Girls Council.

Candidates have been nominated also for "King Cuckoo's" court of honor.

The co-chairmen of the dance explained that the girls created the "King Cuckoo" title in keeping with the clock theme of the dance. The decorations are being planned around the song, "Rock Around the Clock."

The dance, which is semi-formal, will begin at 8:15 p.m. in the high school gymnasium. Two hundred fifty couples are expected, and the music will be furnished by Bill Liday's orchestra.

—Idaho Journal, Pocatello, ID, Nov. 20, 1955, p. 16. There's more to this article, including the names of the various candidates, the co-chairmen, etc.

He Thought He Was Shot, While Training Dogs

Wisconsin, 1907

HE THOUGHT HE WAS SHOT

Jos. Milcharek Goes Out to Train His Dogs to Hunt and Narrowly Escapes a Serious Wound.

While training two of his dogs to hunt near the river on the plat of ground near Messer's slough, Sunday afternoon at about 12:30 o'clock, John Milcharek accidentally fired the contents of a 32 calibre cartridge from a revolver into his right foot and barely escaped permanent injuries.

The dogs had gone ahead with his two sons, and when several rods ahead of him, he fired his revolver into the ground. The dogs howled and appeared to be alarmed, and thereupon he hastily fired again, the second pulling of the trigger being done carelessly while looking across the river. As he fired the second shot, he felt a peculiar sensation coming over him, but suffered no pain in his leg.

A warm perspiration came over him suddenly, and he grew weak, but walked on until he felt a numbness in his foot. Stooping down and examining it, he found a hole pierced in his trousers, and closer investigation showed that his stocking was torn and the leather of his shoe cut. At this point, Milcharek fainted and fell to the ground.

His children ran home for assistance, but meanwhile he recovered and called on the Drs. von Neupert. His wounds were examined and except for a sudden swelling near the ankle, the flesh was not pierced by the bullet, it having taken a diagonal course and glanced into the ground from his shoe.

—The Gazette, Stevens Point, Wisconsin, May 29, 1907, page 1.


Miss, Mrs. and Mistress.

"Miss" is an abbreviation of "mistress," which, as an English law dictionary explains, is the property style of the wife of an esquire or a gentleman.

By Dr. Johnson's time it had become "the term of honor to a young girl." In the earliest part of the eighteenth century, however, it was used respectfully of girls below the age of ten alone. After that age "miss" was rude, implying giddiness of behavior. In Smollett's writings an unmarried woman of mature years and her maid are both "Mrs." It is certain that "miss" has grown older, so to speak, while "master" has become confined to boys.


Good Idea.

First Beggar — How is it that you always manage to get something from both of those women on the ground floor of that apartment house? Second Beggar — Dead easy. I ring both bells at the same time. Both women come to the doors at the same time and each one wants to outdo the other. — Fliegende Blatter.

Addressing Someone as "Esquire" on Letters

1903

"ESQUIRE" ON LETTERS.

In a Great Many Cases Its Use Is Much Abused.

About half the letters that go through our mails are addressed to some "Esq." Occasionally you will find a "Mr." at the front of the name and the "Esq." at the tail end.

The 'Squire in the United States is usually a police justice in the small country towns. The title originally was bestowed upon the shield-bearer, or armor-bearer, of a knight. In these days we use it loosely, tacking it on to everybody, just as "Hon." is tacked. Any old or young scoundrel in a state legislature is "Hon."

Esquire may be divided into five classes; he who does not belong to one of them may or may not be a gentleman, but is no esquire. According to Wharton these are the classes: "Younger sons of peers and their eldest sons; eldest sons of knights and their eldest sons; chiefs of ancient families (by prescription); esquires by creation or office, as heralds or sergeants at arms, judges, justices of the peace, the higher naval and military officers, doctors in the several faculties, and barristers; each Knight of the Bath appoints two esquires to attend him at his installation and at coronation. No estate, however large, confers this rank upon its owner." — New York Press.

—Davenport Daily Republican, Davenport, Iowa, March 7, 1903, page 4.


About half the letters that go through our mails are addressed to some "Esq." Occasionally you will find a "Mr." at the front of the name and the "Esq." at the tail end.

The 'Squire in the United States is usually a police justice in the small country towns. The title originally was bestowed upon the shield-bearer, or armor-bearer, of a knight. In these days we use it loosely, tacking it on to everybody, just as "Hon." is tacked. Any old or young scoundrel in a state legislature is "Hon."

Esquire may be divided into five classes; he who does not belong to one of them may or may not be a gentleman, but is no esquire. According to Wharton these are the classes: "Younger sons of peers and their eldest sons; eldest sons of knights and their eldest sons; chiefs of ancient families (by prescription); esquires by creation or office, as heralds or sergeants at arms, judges, justices of the peace, the higher naval and military officers, doctors in the several faculties, and barristers; each Knight of the Bath appoints two esquires to attend him at his installation and at coronation. No estate, however large, confers this rank upon its owner." — New York Press.

—Davenport Daily Republican, Davenport, Iowa, March 7, 1903, page 4.

Saved by His Quick Wit Before Napoleon

1916

A Reply That Won Over Napoleon and the Duke of Modena

In the French campaign in Italy, in which Napoleon I first began to win the laurels which subsequently so abundantly crowned his career, a young Italian cavalry officer was taken prisoner.

Having serious doubts about his safety, it occurred to the prisoner to pretend be was a great personage. So he promised rewards to his captors if they would insure his good treatment, adding confidentially that he was the Duke of Modena.

He was exceedingly well cared for, and early next morning he was called before Napoleon, who was somewhat puzzled at finding two Dukes of Modena among his prisoners, for the real duke was also a prisoner. The real duke angrily asked his counterfeit by what authority he had assumed the title of Duke of Modena. The young officer answered:

"Your grace, the peril of my situation yesterday was such that had I known a more illustrious title I would not have assumed yours."

The reply so pleased both the duke and Napoleon that he was forgive his deceit.

—Stevens Point Daily Journal, Stevens Point, Wisconsin, July 29, 1916, page 3.