He Offers Free Insanity Certificate

1900

A generous if not alluring offer was that made by an exasperated physician to the penurious father of an insane young man.

The old man wished to secure his son's admission to the insane asylum, but seemed unwilling to pay for the necessary certificate.

After hearing his plea of poverty — which the doctor knew to be false — and hearing him also tell of the many expenses to which he had been put by his ungrateful children, the physician waved his hand to end the recital.

"Now see here," he said, sharply, "you just pay me for this one, and I'll give you a certificate for yourself whenever you wish to use it, for nothing!"


An Effort To Explain

A gentleman who had engaged an intelligent French maid was at work in his library at one end of his house, when it struck him, from certain sounds, that something must be wrong in the drawing-room, at the other end of the house. So he rang his bell, and the maid came.

"What are those cries that I seem to hear in the direction of the drawing-room, Marie?" he asked.

"I do not precisely know, monsieur," she answered. "At one time I sink it is madame who sing, and at anozzer time I am sure it is ze cat and ze dog who fight, monsieur!" — Youth's Companion.