FUNNY OBSERVATIONS

The announcement that American soldiers at the front are suffering from "trench feet" does not mean that they are getting cold feet.

It will be pretty tough on those American congressmen in Europe if they get close enough to the front to be "gassed."

Maybe those German cooks who were awarded the iron cross performed valiant service as range finders.

A government bulletin announces that cold storage turkeys are so plentiful this year that the prices ought to be moderate. We'll bet the news never reaches our grocer.

The Canadians seem to have a perfect passion for Passchendaele.

Indian summer is good medicine for pale faces.

T. Roosevelt never did have much luck with political parties born of a desire to rule or ruin.

One Kansas City coal dealer has been fined $100 for selling a ton of coal that was short 360 pounds. After a while they may be compelling coal men to pass an examination in arithmetic every fall before the coal season opens.

A lot of women would have more time for their knitting if they could train their husbands to darn their own socks.

Even the British can't resist the temptation to kill off the Turks during November.

After a rookie has swallowed about a pound of dust at a cantonment he can hardly be blamed for wishing he had enlisted in the navy.

-- Des Moines Register, Nov. 9, 1917

Comments: A couple good Thanksgiving jokes there. But I'd guess that "trench feet" shouldn't really a laughing matter.

DICKINSON PLEASES

Palo Alto Reporter: L. J. Dickinson, who is a candidate for the nomination to congress from this district, spoke in Ayrshire on Tuesday evening of this week. Mr. Dickinson was the main speaker and gave the people of that place a splendid address of a patriotic character. Brother Branagan should have been there to report the meeting to his friend and fellow sympathiser, Congressman Woods. He seems to have charge of Woods' campaign in this county. It is all right, too, for at the breaking out of the present trouble with Germany Woods and Branagan were both pacifists. Woods voted against the war with Germany and was one of the few congressmen that voted against the declaration. The Reporter has not much use for slackers in this war.

--Des Moines Register, Nov. 9, 1917

Comment: The paragraph is from a column on the opinions expressed in other state newspapers. As for me today, I'm still shaking my fist at Woods and Branagan, and tipping my hat to Dickinson.

EDITOR GIVES BIG BOND

Accused of Violating Espionage Act by Disloyal Editorial.

SIOUX CITY, Ia., Nov. 9 -- Special: John Starzl, editor of the LeMars Globe-Post, and a German language paper, was arrested yesterday by Deputy United States Marshal Smith of this city. He is charged with violation of the espionage act. He was given his liberty on a $10,000 bond and will have his hearing on Nov. 21.

Starzl in the Globe-Post last week published an editorial charging that American soldiers are grossly mistreated while on transports.

He has since published a retraction and at the same time claims the editorial was written by an employe during his absence and that he knew nothing of it.

--Des Moines Register, Nov. 10, 1917

Comment: So, the editorial charged that American soldiers were being grossly mistreated while on transports. The espionage act must have been very strict. It could also have been the fact that he was editor of a German language paper that made them more interested in his opinions. (I left "employe" with one e. I've seen it spelled that way a lot way back when.)

Here's a good article that discusses the Espionage Act and how strict it was:

The government feared a popular outcry against the war and the draft - enough fear that Congress passed, on June 15, 1917, the Espionage Act, which made it a crime to aid and comfort the enemy. “Aid and comfort” at that time meant writing a pamphlet that simply stated one’s constitutional rights. ...

You might think that the Espionage Act and the Sedition Act [1918] were laws held in reserve, to be used just in case of emergency. In fact, the government, fearing class warfare and believing that any speech against the draft or the war was a national security threat, wielded these legal swords with a vengeance.

And also, from Wikipedia: The Espionage Act of 1917

made it a crime for a person to convey information with intent to interfere with the operation or success of the armed forces of the United States or to promote the success of its enemies. It was punishable by a maximum $USD 10,000 fine ($169,517.90 in today's dollars) and 20 years in prison. The legislation was passed at the urging of President Woodrow Wilson, who feared any widespread dissent in time of war constituted a real threat to an American victory.

DON'T WORRY, MISTER

Old gentleman -- Boys, be careful you don't pick toadstools instead of mushrooms. They are very easily confused.
Spokesboy -- Don't worry, mister, We ain't goin' to eat 'em ourselves; we're goin' to sell 'em. -- Boston Transcript.

"What's the matter with Senator Wombat?"
"He can't seem to realize that he can't end this war with a resolution." -- Kansas City Journal.

She -- Don't you think you ought at least to make enough money to support me?
He -- It wouldn't make any difference; even then I couldn't support you. -- Life.

"Vaudeville is getting more sophisticated all the time."
"What now?"
"A difficult juggling turn used to travel on its own merits, but now it's no good unless performed on roller skates." -- Louisville Courier-Journal.