The Funny Side of Life

1902

Point of View

When a fellow has spent
His last red cent,
The world looks blue — you bet!
But — give him a dollar
And you'll hear him holler:
"There's life in the old land yet!"

— Atlanta Constitution.


Precious

Mrs. Knicker — "Mrs. Smith seems very proud of her diamonds."
Mrs. Bockor — "Yes, she refers to them as her white coals." — New York Sun.


Worth While

She — "I should like to know what good your college education did you?"
He — "Well, it taught, me to owe a lot of money without being annoyed by it." — Life.


The Influence

Jerry — "How do good clothes make a man a gentleman?"
Joe — "They make him feel as if he was expected to act like one." — Detroit Free Press.

Bets on Race; Nevah Again!

1915

Virginia Gentleman Is Bittah Because Mistah Millah Wins His $1,000

PHILADELPHIA. Pa., Dec. 16. — A peanut grower from Virginia placed a cool thousand dollars on a race horse in a well-appointed apartment and lost. He is now touring the central section of the city with a detective in an endeavor to find the apartment and two men who escaped with the money he lost.

"Nevah again will I visit youah city, suh," said the indignant plantation owner, T. M. Edwards of Rushmere, Va. Edwards says a chance acquaintance introduced him to a man named Miller.

"Mistah Millah was represented to me as being the gentleman who won back Judge Grinell's fortune by playing the hosses," said Edwards. "I was prevailed upon to go to New York to get $1,000, and returned here today. I put up the money and lost. So did my friend.

"Mr. Millah won all. My friend was very bittah against Mistah Millah and vowed he would shoot him and get my money back. Then he disappeared."


Pleas for Woman's Life Win

OTTAWA, Ont., Dec. 16. — The women of Alberta have won their fight to save the life of Mrs. Annie Hawkes of Macleod, sentenced to hang for the killing of her husband's affinity. Announcement was made that executive clemency has been extended and the sentence commuted to 10 years' imprisonment.

Hundreds of petitions protesting against the death sentence imposed upon Mrs. Hawkes were received here. The plea was made that Mrs. Hawkes while hysterical killed the woman who had been brought into her home.

A Brave Man's Gentleness

1900

The Army and Navy Journal gives a touching incident, which shows how gentle a nature may exist beneath the sternness which at times reckons not the life of men while in the pursuit of victory.

The late Commander James W. Carlin was in command of the Vandalia at Apia, Samoa, during the terrible storm of March 16, 1889.

One evening, some years afterward, on retiring to his room while visiting his sister, he found a mouse that had fallen into a basin of water, and was struggling for his life.

"There was agony and defiance in that little fellow's eye," said the commander, speaking of it the next day. "As I gazed on that helpless little creature I thought of that terrible night on the Vandalia, and going to the open window, I gently emptied the contents of the basin. I didn't dry him with my towel, but I saved his life," the commander added. — Youth's Companion.

Courtesy All Too Scarce

Ohio, 1914

Cleveland Man Set Fine Example of the Duty of a Gentleman to the Fair Sex

The youthful Walter Raleigh spreading his velvet cloak on muddy walk for his queen to pass, is a pleasant historical picture. But the heart of a courteous gentleman may beat under the blouse of a workingman as well as under the cloak of a courtier.

Last November the city of Cleveland was cut off from the outer world by the worst storm of wind and sleet and snow in its history. Traction lines and railways were tied up for several days. Four days after the storm, a woman reached Cleveland to visit her sister. She knew that the cars were not yet running on the line she wished to take, and so she took a car on another line that would take her to the city limits, where she hoped to connect with a car that would take her where she wanted to go.

Forty minutes later she stepped from the car at the edge of the city. Between her and the curbstone a wide stream of water six or eight inches deep was running. As she looked helplessly about, a workingman whose hair was touched with gray left a group on the sidewalk, waded out to her and said: "Madam, you don't know me, and I don't know you, but if you'll let me, I'll be glad to help you to the sidewalk." She thanked him, and he took her suitcase to the curb, splashed back, and taking her up in his arms, waded with her to the walk. There he put her down dry-shod, carried her suitcase into a near-by store, and told her he would tell her when her car came; for he was also waiting for it.

Two hours later he waded with the suit case to the long-delayed car, returned, and splashed once more through the stream of melting snow as he carried her to the step. Then he said "I hope you'll be all right," and took a place at the opposite end of the car. — Youth's Companion.


Daily Thought

As the flowers carry dewdrops trembling on the edge of the petals, and ready to fall at the first waft of wind or brush of wing of bird, so the heart should carry its beaded words of thanksgiving, and at the first breath of heavenly favor let down the shower perfumed with the heart's gratitude. — Beecher.