Few Women Laugh Heartily

1910

Whether Due to Lack of Humor or Childhood's Training Is Unknown, But Fact Remains

Women laugh too little. Whether this is due to their lack of humor or to childhood's training in gentle manners may be questioned. Certain it is that a hearty laugh in a woman's voice is rare music. An audience of women rustles with amusement, but seldom laughs. A group of girls giggle, but do not laugh. A woman reading the most brilliantly humorous story seldom gets beyond a smile.

When Sir Walter Besant, in his clever skit, "The Revolt of Man," pictured the time in the twentieth century when women should have usurped all power — political, ecclesiastical and social — he shrewdly noted that laughter had died out in England; and when men revolted against their feminine tyrants, they came back to their own with peals of laughter.

A Paris doctor has recently opened a place for the laughter cure. It is a private institution, and large fees are charged. The patients sit around a room, and at a given moment begin to smile at each other. The smile broadens to a grin, and at a signal to a peal of laughter. Two hours a day of this healthful exercise is said to cure the worst cases of dyspepsia. But whether the habit of laughing easily and naturally could be acquired by this process is doubtful. — Montreal Herald.

A Salute Wasted — Was Old Negro Cook, Not the General

1900

The flag-ship Monongahela was anchored off the navy-yard at Pensacola Bay in 186—, and Admiral Farragut, who was then in command, was on board. He had been very busy the week before paying official calls on the mainland, and among those who had entertained him was General Canby. When, therefore, word was received that the general would visit the ship the next day, the admiral was determined to have everything ready to receive him in a style becoming his rank.

The old boat was scrubbed and holystoned from stem to stern, the bright work was given an extra rub, and things generally were put into the best of order. Captain Heywood, now brigadier-general commandant of the marine corps, had a special inspection of his company of marines, and not a spot of rust or a dull helmet spike escaped his notice. When night closed in, darkness settled down over a very clean ship and a very tired ship's company.

Bright and early the next morning the admiral's launch was sent off to bring the general aboard. At the last moment it was discovered that there was no fruit for luncheon, and Pompey, the admiral's cook, was sent in the dingy to get some.

Pompey was a character in his way, and had been with the admiral for many years. He was very proud of what he called his military bearing, and wore his beard carefully trimmed to a point. His hair and beard were nearly white, and although he was sixty years old, he ruled the other negroes with a rod of iron.

By ten o'clock every one was standing by in full dress, when the quartermaster came aft and reported that the admiral's launch was returning.

The officer of the deck walked to the rail and took a squint at the boat through his glasses. A man clad in a blue uniform was seated in the admiral's cane chair in the stern, but as the gunwale struck him just below the shoulder and the awning hid his head, the officer of the deck was not certain that it was General Canby until, as the wind lifted the edge of the awning, he caught a glimpse of a gray beard.

Word was passed that the general was coming off. The crew were beat to quarters, the marine guard paraded, and the gun squad, detailed to fire the salutes took their stations.

Everything was in readiness, and the admiral and his staff stood at the head of the gangway to receive the guest. A hush of expectancy settled over the ship.

The boat drew nearer. Just as the launch scraped alongside, boom! boom!! came the salute from the guns.

"Present arms!" came the command to the guard, and at a sign from the flag officer the band struck up "Hail to the Chief."

Amid all this military pomp and splendor the occupant of the launch was slowly clambering out, feet foremost, and just as the last gun was fired he stood erect at the top of the gangway.

Merciful heavens! It was Pompey, with a bag of fruit in each hand!

Confusion! The honors intended for a general had been rendered a negro cook! As the situation dawned on the men, even discipline could not check a general shout of laughter. The old admiral himself laughed until he could laugh no more.

It seemed that in some way the dingy had gone off and left the old negro, and that he had managed to convince the coxswain that "Marse Farragut was jes' bound to have dat fruit befo' the general came."

Pompey wanted to land at the port gangway, but the coxswain insisted that the admiral's launch never went to the port side, and that the old man would have to land on the starboard side, aft.

Had the awning been a little higher, the mistake in identification would not have occurred. As things were, no one could be blamed, and the affair was treated as a joke, while Pompey was nicknamed the "General."

When, an hour later, General Canby did come off, he was received with all due ceremony, and on being told the story, laughed till the tears rolled down his cheek; and demanded to see the man who had stolen his salute. — Youth's Companion.

The Queen of Romance

1904

An English lady tells a story of Queen Victoria which she believes has not before appeared in print, and which she knows is true. Three children were walking along the road between Windsor and Stoke Poges. They heard the sound of carriage wheels. It was the queen's carriage, and she was in it.

The oldest child, a little boy, had been reading Oriental stories and fairy lore. He knew what was due to a queen, and cried to the others: "Get down flat in the dust before the carriage, and we'll all call out at once, 'O queen, live forever!'"

Down went the three little bodies flat in the dust, much to the mystification of the coachman, who reined up sharply.

The queen leaned forward and asked, "What in the world is the matter, children? Are you frightened?"

Three voices came out of the dust in a smothered treble: "Yes; O queen!"

Then there was a pause, and one reproachful voice said, "There, we forgot the 'live forever' part!"

The queen grasped the situation and laughed aloud, as her coachman afterward said, "more heartily than she had laughed for years."

Suspenders and Suspense

1904

A certain Congressman from a mountain district, says the New York Sun, is troubled with a weak, squeaky little voice which sometimes falls in the midst of what might otherwise be an eloquent peroration.

Recently in addressing the House on a matter connected with the tariff, he exclaimed: "Why, tariffs are like a pair of suspenders, sometimes tight and sometimes loose; but Uncle Sam needs them just the same, to keep up his-"

Here the Congressman's voice struck a high treble note, flared and stopped.

The House held its breath while he cleared his throat. The suspense, which seemed to last for fully a minute, was more painful to the auditors than to the orator, for everyone was wondering whether he would say "trousers" or "pants," and some were even hoping that he might say "pantaloons." Even "overalls" would be better than "pants," for "pants" is most unparliamentary.

But all fears were without foundation. He cleared his throat with the greatest care, and in a death-like stillness resumed his oration where he had dropped it: "to keep up his running expenses —"

The words which followed were lost forever in a gale of laughter.

Laughter a Series of Barks

1909

Laughing is barking, say the scientists. The neck and head are thrown back while a series of short barks are emitted from the throat. However musical the barks may be, they are barks.

The laugh begins with a sudden and violent contraction of the muscles of the chest and abdomen. But instead of opening to let the air pass out of the lungs, the vocal cords approach each other and hold it back. But they are not strong enough to exercise such opposition for more than an instant, and the air, which is under pressure, promptly escapes. As it does so it makes the vocal cords vibrate producing the bark.

This obstruction and liberation of the air expelled from the lungs repeats itself again and again at intervals of a quarter of a second. There are thus in a hearty laugh four barks a second, and if continued, they go on at that rate as long as the air reserve in the lungs holds out. The empty lungs must then fill themselves, and this interval is marked by a quick gasp for breath, after which the barks are renewed. The barks occur in series with gasps for breath at intervals.

When laughter is violent, the entire body participates. The upper part of the trunk bends and straightens itself alternately or sways to right and left. The feet stamp on the floor, while the hands are pressed upon the loins to moderate the painful spasm.

The Arrangement of Cut Flowers

1874

The London Gardener says that of all the various mistakes made by persons in arranging flowers, the commonest is that of putting too many in a vase; and next to that, is the mistake of putting too great a variety of colors in one bouquet. Every flower in a group should be clearly distinguishable and determinable without pulling the nosegay to pieces; the calyx of a cove pink should never be hid by being plunged into the head of a white phlox, however well the colors may look.

Sweet peas never look so well in the hands as they do on the boughs over which they climb, because they cannot be carried without crowding them; but put them lightly in a vase with an equal number of mignonette, or rather, ornament a vase half full of mignonette, with a few blossoms of sweet peas, and you get a charming effect, because you follow the natural arrangement by avoiding crowding of the blossoms, and putting them with the green foliage which they want to set them off.

Few people are aware, until they try it, how easy it is to spoil such a pleasing combination as this; a piece of calceolaria, scarlet geranium, or blue salvia, would ruin it effectually. Such decided colors as these require to be grouped in another vase, and should not even be placed on the table with sweet peas.


Laugh and Be Healthy

The physiological benefit of laughter is explained in the Archiv fur Psychiatrie: The comic-like tickling causes a reflex action of the sympathetic nerve, by which the caliber of the vascular portions of the system is diminished, and their nervous power increased. The average pressure of the cerebral vessels on the brain substance is thus decreased, and this is compensated for by the forced expiration of laughter, and the larger amount of blood thus called to the lungs. We always feel good when we laugh, but until now we never knew the scientific reason why.

Hypnotist Team Mystifying, Amusing Audiences

Davenport, IA, 1903

THE FLINTS ARE MYSTIFYING AND PLEASING MANY

Their Performances At the Burtis Convulse Audiences With Laughter

Although the fight against hypnotism is at its height among the learned professors of the country, Prof. and Mrs. Herbert L. Flint are not so busily engaged in defending hypnotism as they are in presenting to the public some of the most laughable comedy performances by aid of hypnotic suggestions. There is nothing suggestive or degrading in their entertainments. Everything is on a high moral plane, and under the influence of Mrs. Herbert L. Flint, a bewitching, winsome woman, clad in the prettiest of gowns, which are themselves worthy of going to see, the subjects on the stage are carried from one amusing situation to another, each bringing out point after point of their natural humor until the youngest and oldest in the audience descend to one common plane of tearful laughter. The only thing that has marred the pleasure of Davenport audiences, who have seen the Flints this week, is their sympathy for Mrs. Flint, who is suffering from a badly wrenched ankle, an accident which befell her on her arrival in this city.

—Davenport Daily Republican, Davenport, IA, March 18, 1903, p. 7.

Stabs Man of Same Name

Two Tony Precaros, One Wounded.
One a Fugitive.

Chicago -- Similarity of names and rivalry over an Italian girl caused a stabbing affray at 816 West Huron Street. Tony Precaro, victim, was sent to the county hospital, while Tony Precaro, assailant is being sought by the police.

The men are cousins and reside a few doors apart. Both are 22 years old, and both have courted a girl who resides close by. A missive sent by the girl reached the wrong cousin, and when the tangle was straightened-out accusations were made by the rivals.

They met in front of the house of the wounded man and engaged in a fist fight, which terminated by one cousin drawing a knife and slashing his rival across the breast.

--The Sioux City Bee, Rock Valley, Iowa, July 24, 1903, page 1.


Short Notes
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Laugh and the bunch laughs with you.
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Some men have an idea that heaven is one long pay-day.
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You are all advised to give vent to your mirthful feelings.
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Since the latest auto race in Europe the horrors of war do not seem too dreadful.
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When you get right down to the true inwardness of it you will find that a man's best friend is himself.
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When our shafts fail to hit the mark, we generally have a feeling that it is because the mark is too low.
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With Edison and Marconi working in cahoots, electricity may as well prepare to give up its remaining secrets.
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If a man should fall to hating himself and wanted to get even he should sit down and give himself good advice.
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The arbitration germ is doing well, considering the backward season, but is still a pygmy compared with the strike microbe.
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One preacher thinks the American people laugh too much. This is the worst case of trouble-seeking that we have ever heard of.
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All men want to laugh, but most of them are generally discovered because they have been laughed at for one thing or another.
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If the fish that a man catches would only get away and he could nab those that get away he would bring home more and larger fish -- perhaps.
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The humiliating fact remains that with all our losses and disfigurement, the flood record has not been broken. Old 1344 still wears the championship belt.
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A poet has been elected president of a railroad. Will probably have a grand career. A man who can work his way up through poetry must have great stuff in him.
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"Great divinities!" exclaimed the shade of Nero, watching the automobile race. "Could I have had a bunch of them what sights of royal carnage the arena would have been!"

--The Sioux City Bee, Rock Valley, Iowa, July 24, 1903, page 1.