The Culture of Politeness

1895

M. Brunetiero of the French academy contributes an article on "Education and Instruction," in which he makes remarks that are worth quoting, to the effect that the first interest of the French community being to endure and to continue on the same lines, the treatment of the young must be to a certain extent subordinate to this general theory and not wholly based on the individual development of the boy and girl.

French politeness, for instance, is an integral attribute of France as we have always known her, and has partly molded her literary expressions and contributed to the wide diffusion of her language. "Thus the well-bred man is he who controls himself in the interest of others. The idea of a certain amount of constraint is still at the base of continental education. . . . To breed up or to train a child is to habituate it to repress such of its movements, to restrain such of its moods, to keep to itself such of its sentiments as might annoy or alarm others. The general interest, which in the sphere of manners is the interest of the 'world,' is therefore recognized as superior to that of the individual, and as sufficiently important to require each of us to subordinate, to submit, to bend his own nature, and so we come to the formula of individual constraint in favor of a social gain."

Oriental Politeness — 'Your Arrival Drives Away Somber Night'

1888

Some curious notes on the etiquette of the East are published in a recent issue of the Gazette de France. For instance a Turkish Effendi, when speaking to another about himself, always says: "your servant," "your valet," or "your slave;" and to the other he says "your high" or "your eminent personality." Instead of saying "I saw you at the theater the other night," he would always say: "At the theater the other night I saw the dust of your shoes;" after all, a rather doubtful sort of compliment.

But here is the Turkish form of an invitation to dinner: "My Generous Master, My Respected Lord: This evening if it pleases Allah, when the great king of the army of stars, the sun of worlds, approaching the kingdom of shades, shall put his foot into the stirrup of speed, you are invited to enlighten us with the luminous rays of your face, which rivals the sun. Your arrival, like the zephyr of spring, will drive away from us the somber night of solitude and isolation."



Personal and Literary

1888

—A granddaughter of Charles Dickens is now a type-writer, and copies MSS. for a living.

—Rev. Dr. Bartol says of the late A. Bronson Alcott: "Were it possible, he was courteous to excess. He would have been polite to Satan."

—Of the literary men who died during 1887, the ages of one hundred and twenty are recorded in the Literary World. Taking them as a basis the average age of literary men is found to be seventy years.

—The youngest woman in the newspaper business heard from up to date is Miss Agnes McMellan, the local editor of the Seward Democrat of Nebraska. She is but fifteen years old, and an excellent news gatherer.

—D. W. C. Throop, editor of the Mount Pleasant (Iowa) Free Press, was writing a few days ago an article on the lesson of Tom Potter's death from overwork. Suddenly he paused, put his hand to his heart, and fell to the floor a corpse.

—"Buffalo Bill" is to try his luck as an author. He will write a book which treats of the reclamation from the Indians of the vast domain which lies west of the Alleghenies. The volume will recount the exploits of many famous frontiersmen.

Refinement Removed from Excess, Waste, Allied to Simplicity

1876

Refinement is not fastidiousness. It is not luxury. It is nothing of this kind. It is far removed from excess or waste. A person truly refined will not squander or needlessly consume anything. Refinement, on the contrary, is always allied to simplicity and a judicious and tasteful employment of the means of good and happiness which it has at command. It seeks to divest itself of superfluities and aspires continually to the utmost possible purity.

Refinement leads to personal cleanliness and elegant neatness, good taste and simplicity in dress. All "loudness" or "flashiness" is repugnant to its spirit. In its home and surroundings — whether palatial, affluent, or humble — the same chasteness and natural grace is maintained. The abode of genuine refinement and a mere pretender to it are very different. In the former you will find no excess, gaudiness, or false glittering; but the latter abounds in it.

In personal manner, refinement is most conspicuous. A man of refinement is always polite without flourish, gentle without effeminacy, and considerate without stiffness. Display and ceremony are not identical with refinement, and are poor substitutes for it. There is of course no refinement like that of the heart, which impels its possessor to show on all occasions a thoughtful and kindly regard for the feelings of others. No adherence to etiquette can compare with it for the spontaneous observation of true and gratifying politeness.



The Best Nourishment

Be as the little child who eats and sleeps and grows. God gives you the best nourishment, although not always the sweetest to the taste. — Madame Guyon.