Tango Dances Drive 'Em Mad

1914

New York, Jan. 1. — The extent of the present dancing madness is shown in no manner more vividly than the way in which many society women now madly vie with each other for the questionable honor of tangoing with former chorus men and other cheap actors whom a few short months ago they would not have deigned to accept an introduction.

Now they wait their turn like outcasts in the bread line for the exhilarating experience of stepping the latest measures with individuals who, before the prevalence of this twentieth century lunacy, were content to be seen, unheard and untouched, in the rear of a musical comedy ensemble.

A new dance, the "Paul Jones," is the latest and most amazing manifestation of the craze.

In this exhibition, at a blast from a whistle, all present, dance with those next to them whether acquainted with them or not. No introductions are necessary.

Although some of these affairs are high priced and are conducted in high toned neighborhoods under "society" auspices, the crowds are exceedingly mixed and there can be no telling what may be the character of the man with whom some woman from exclusive circles may grab for a partner.

Many men of no standing and little repute are patronizing these "swell" affairs regularly under the assurance that they may tango or trot madly with women who heretofore have been supposed to hold themselves dearly.

Etiquette — "When a Guest, When Do You Retire for the Night?"

1910

Delicate Point at Issue

Whether Guest or Hostess Should Make First Move for Retiring for the Night

Until the end of time it will probably be a mooted question whether guest or hostess should make the first move for retiring for the night. When staying in a house for the first time this is one of the most difficult points for a guest to decide, and it takes a great deal of tact and discernment to arrive at a correct conclusion.

In the summer house at country or seashore the chances are, if the host goes to town for business every day, that the whole household is up early. The hostess is certainly, as a rule, if her husband is a business man. In that case it is almost essential that they go to bed early. Logical as this conclusion may seem, a guest fears to suggest going too early to her own room, lest she should seem to be bored during the evening, and thus it is, when both really would like to turn in at a reasonable hour, they and others are kept up by a desperate attempt to be polite.

If any rule of procedure may be laid down for a stranger in the house it is to find out, as soon as possible, at what time breakfast is served and when the host goes to town. It is a safe method, if he goes early, and especially if breakfast is served for all at an early hour, to suggest retiring by ten o'clock at the latest, and in more than one household in the summer the same people who turn night into day in the winter go to their rooms by nine o'clock in the evening. It is better for guests to err on the side of going too soon than too late, for nothing will make strangers more unpopular than to overturn the comfortable habits of the household.

Host and hostess are not required to go to their own rooms because guests may have retired to theirs, but they are obliged to stay up if the stranger makes no move to retire.

It is by no means difficult, even for a person making a first visit, to suggest retiring. She may say that she is tired from having been so much out of doors, or that the heat is rather trying, or any other such simple excuse as may come into her mind, and declare that she would like to retire. She makes her good-nights then at once, and the host and hostess are at liberty to follow their usual customs.

A Traveling Man Does An Indecent Thing

Wisconsin, 1920

A Traveling Man Gets Into Trouble

Plymouth Review — A young lady, whose name we shall withhold because she was entirely innocent of the slightest wrong-doing, was accosted by a traveling man from Milwaukee, on the highway between this city and Greenbush one day last week.

She was driving towards her home while the Milwaukee traveling man was just ahead of her in an automobile. He stopped the machine and got out of it as if to make some adjustment. As she drove up, he asked the young lady whether she was going to Greenbush. Thinking that the question was impertinent she did not reply, when he stepped away from his auto and did an indecent thing.

At this the young lady turned her horse around and started back towards Plymouth. She stopped at a house and reported what had happened and a gentleman went in pursuit of the malefactor. The young lady accompanied him as she had taken the number of his auto. The auto was standing in front of the Stannard store at the village of Greenbush. While someone went after the young lady's father the traveling man drove to Glenbeulah. Here an officer got into the car with him and they came to Plymouth. The only justice of the peace was out of the city and the police justice has no jurisdiction over a criminal act committed outside the city. The parties went before some attorney and the traveling man paid a certain sum.

We have failed to state that the young lady was accosted twice by the traveling man.

If the story is true and there seems to be no reason to doubt it, the miscreant got off rather lightly. He is said to be a young man about twenty-five years of age, and his experience may be sufficient to deter him from repeating an act of that kind.

—The Sheboygan Press, Sheboygan, WI, Sept. 25, 1920, p. 4.

The Duty of a Woman to be a Lady

1877

Wildness is a thing which girls cannot afford. Delicacy is a thing which cannot be lost and found. No art can restore to the grape its bloom. Familiarity without love, without confidence, without regard, is destructive to all that makes woman exalting and ennobling.

"The World is wide, these things are small,
They may be nothing, but they are all."

Nothing? It is the first duty of a woman to be a lady. Good breeding is good sense. Bad manners in a woman is an immorality. Awkwardness may be ineradicable. Bashfulness is constitutional. Ignorance of etiquette is the result of circumstances. All can be condoned, and do not banish man or woman from the amenities of their kind. But self-possessed, unshrinking and aggressive coarseness of demeanor may be reckoned as a state prison offence, and certainly merits that mild form of punishment called imprisonment for life.

It is a shame for women to be lectured on their manners. It is a bitter shame that they need. Women are the umpires of society. It is they to whom all mooted points should be referred. To be a lady is more than to be a prince. A lady is always in her right inalienably worthy of respect. To a lady prince and peasant alike bow. Do not be restrained. Do not have impulses that need restraint. Do not wish to dance with the prince unsought; feel differently. Be sure that you confer honor. Carry yourselves so lofty that men shall look up to you for reward, not at you in rebuke.

The natural sentiment of man toward woman is reverence. He loses a large means of grace when he is obliged to account her a being to be trained into propriety. A man's ideal is not wounded when a woman fails in worldly wisdom; but if in grace, in tact, in sentiment, in delicacy, in kindness, she should be found wanting, he receives an inward hurt. — Gail Hamilton.

The Stupidity of Men

1903

Trials of Women Who Must Submit to Their Blunders As Hosts

A group of women were talking about the stupidity of men at all times and their enormous denseness when their wives were trying to give them a hint.

"You know one day we had company unexpectedly and we hardly had enough to go around," said one woman. "I tried to catch my husband's eye to convey to him that he was serving the meat too generously. But he would not take the hint. When he had given out the last bit there were two plates still unfilled. What do you suppose that shameless man did? He simply called all the plates back again and scooped enough off each one to fill the remaining two."

"I shall always take my husband one side beforehand and tell him a few things," said an engaged girl.

"Well, that won't work," said an experienced matron. "I did that one day, and when I asked my husband whether he would have pudding or pie for dessert, he blurted out: 'Good gracious, Helen, I've forgotten which you told me to take.' "

Snapshots by Barbara Boyd - Thoughtless Good Intentions

1913

Snapshots by Barbara Boyd
Thoughtless Good Intentions

Do not think the good intentions that pave the lower region are any worse than the good intentions which are put into execution, but which have no thought back of them," said the clubwoman.

"They are not half so bad," replied her friend, "for they don't worry anybody or do any damage. They never really live, and so, not having life, they can do neither good or ill. But good intentions that are full of life, and on their job, often work quite as much harm as good."

"That's what I think," responded the clubwoman. "They are often what I call thoughtless good intentions. With the very best of intentions, a person will rush to do something for you without even stopping to think whether you may want that thing done or not; and so precipitate upon your defenseless head an avalanche of trouble and annoyance.

"I got to thinking about this," went on the clubwoman, "because of something Mrs. Smith, a neighbor of mine, did the other day. I wasn't feeling very well, and I thought if I could lie down undisturbed and get a little sleep, I would be all right. The only one likely to come was the ice boy; so I hung out a little sign telling him what I wanted, and then went upstairs and crawled into bed. I was just dozing off, when the bell rang so furiously, and kept on ringing so persistently, that I thought the house must be on fire, or there was a dire telegram, or my husband had been run over by an auto, and I scrambled out and ran down. And who do you think it was?"

"Give it up," said her friend.

"This same Mrs. Smith, to ask me excitedly if I knew there was a sign pinned to the porch post. She said she was going by and saw it fluttering there, and thought maybe I didn't know it and ought to be told. Honestly, I could have choked her with right good will. I don't wonder murders are committed. I felt like asking her didn't she suppose I had eyes in my head, and would I be likely to hang up a sign and not know it was there, and a few more pointed questions like that. But being a supposedly civilized being, I only smiled feebly and said, 'Yes, I knew it was there as I had put it there myself,' whereat she apologized, and said she thought maybe it might be something I would like to know about. You see her intention was all right, but there was no thought back of it."

"There are plenty of such people," agreed her friend. "It's my private opinion that good intentions are a sort of cloak that lots of people use, to throw over thoughtlessness and selfishness and various others of the cardinal sins. The person who effervesces with good intentions, I avoid as I would the plague."

—The Newark Advocate, Newark, Ohio, April 8, 1913, page 5.