Lord Russell's Ruse

1895

The lord chief justice was too smart for the juryman who sought to be excused from serving. "On what ground?" asked his lordship. The man approached with his hand to his ear and said, "I'm deaf, my lord, and cannot bear the evidence." "You can go," said Lord Russell in a whisper. "Thank you, my lord," replied the juryman, taken off his guard, but the learned judge had not finished his sentence, and he sternly added, "into the box and do your duty!" The man quailed and obeyed in some confusion at the failure of his ruse. — Westminster Budget.


An Insult

Miss Beans (of Boston, visiting in Chicago) — Mamma, that Mr. Porkingham insulted me last night, and I shall never speak to him again!
Mamma — How, my child?
Miss B. — He asked me if we were from New York. — Detroit Free Press.


Pompeiian Sculptor

In the house of a Pompeiian sculptor were found 32 mallets, 15 compasses, 3 levers, several chisels, together with jacks for raising blocks and nearly 30 statues and busts, in every stage of manufacture.


Beavers

The tail of a beaver is a regular trowel and is used as such.

"White Mule" Sign Lured Thirsty Ones

1920

Maude Was There, Also Something Else With a "Kick"

VINCENNES, Indiana, March 18. — "White Mule for Sale." Thirsty ones who heeded this inviting sign, tacked to the door of a stable, found a real, somewhat alive white mule for sale. Here's the story, as told by one of the Federal agents who aided the State prohibition enforcement commissioner in a recent roundup of whiskey peddlers in this section of the State:

A clique of bootleggers purchased an old white mule, scoured the animal up, placed him in a stall and then hung out the sign.

Those interested enough to inquire were "sized up" thoroughly. If in doubt, the bootleggers' representative on duty displayed the mule's good "points" and quoted a price far beyond reason. If the prospect looked "safe," his thirst was quenched.