Crippled By Fall on Ice

1919

Fractured Bone Can Never Heal, Say Physicians.

DENVER, Colorado — Joe H. Ruffner, widely known mining man, secretary of the Sons of Colorado, will be crippled for life as a result of falling off a patch of ice, according to the report of a physician who made an X-ray examination.

Ruffner is 49 years old. The fall resulted in a fracture of the femur bone of the hip, of such character that it can never heal, according to the examining surgeon.

—The Saturday Blade, Chicago, Jan. 3, 1920, p. 12.

Slips of the Tongue

1914

Most amusing are the slips of the tongue which so often lead to embarrassing situations.

At an evening party a lady said to her partner, "Can you tell me who is that exceedingly plain young man opposite?"

"That is my brother," was the reply.

"Oh, I beg your pardon," she said in great confusion. "I did not notice the resemblance."

At a certain concert a lady asked a gentleman how he liked the duet she had just sung. "You sang charmingly," was the reply; "but why did you select such a horrid piece of music?"

"Sir, that was written by my late husband," was the indignant reply.

"Ah, yes, I did not mean — but why did you select such an ass to sing with you?"

"Oh, you brute!" screamed the lady. "That is my present husband."


Charity

Charity begins at home, and often ends there. It is usually divided into two kinds, namely, public and private. Public charity consists of a salaried office force and a subscription list. Private charity is what we give when we don't know what to do with the surplus.

There is also a species of charity known as genuine. Inasmuch, however, as it is never advertised in the newspapers, scarcely anything is known about it. — Life.


Saves Fisherman Trouble

Harness to hold a fishing pole, so as to leave a fisherman's hands free to manage his bait or catch, is an English invention.