Kerensky Now A Waiter

1920

Former Russian Leader Accepts Job in London "Beanery"

NEW YORK, N. Y., Jan. 1. — Alexander F. Kerensky, successor to the Czar as ruler of Russia, is now working in a "beef and beanery" in London, according to Gregory Zilboorg, who says he was Kerensky's secretary of labor and who spoke at the intercollegiate Socialist convention here.

"The poor fellow is down at the heel," he added. "He is in the same boat as I am."

No Cause For Him to Complain

1902

"See here," remarked the guest to the new waiter, "there doesn't seem to be any soup on this menu card."
"Oh, no, sir," replied the waiter, nervously, "I didn't spill it at this table — it was the one on the other side of the room." — Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.


Satiric

"Don't you think that some people in society are very deficient in manners?" said the man who had been annoyed by a box party.
"Perhaps," answered Miss Cayenne; "but possibly they are not to blame. They have to meet so many customs house inspectors, you know." — Washington Star.


As She Reasoned It

"It is but natural," said Mrs. Van Scadders, "that those who possess wealth should consider themselves the best people."
"I don't quite follow you?"
"It is an axiom that everything is for the best."
"Yes."
"And the people with money are the only ones who have a chance to get everything." — Washington Star.

Head Waiters

1917

A head waiter must always be able to tell at a glance how much money you are going to spend so that he will be able to sneer at you accordingly. When a restaurant proprietor hires a new head waiter he expects to be greatly humiliated. To make a favorable impression the head waiter mast be able to give the proprietor a look that will make him feel pretty cheap. Before the interview is over the proprietor is showing the head waiter his family portrait album.

The head waiters in the magazines and movies could never hold real jobs because they have been seen to smile and bow. If a real head waiter ever smiled at a customer he would break out with a rash, and if he ever bowed it would cause internal injuries.

There may come a day when a head waiter's bows and smiles may be had at moderate prices. At present, however, they are within the reach of few. - Brooklyn Eagle.

Men Gloomy at Breakfast, Waiter Says

1903

"Our business wouldn't be so disagreeable if we didn't have to serve breakfast to men," said a waiter in one of the better cafes one morning last week. "See that fellow over there? Well, naturally he's one of the best fellows that eats here, and at dinner he is a prince and never growls at anything, but at breakfast he always has a kick coming.

"It's the same way with nearly all men. They act as if they had got out of bed backward. In the morning they are nearly all of them cross, hard to please.

"It isn't the same with women. The reverse is true of them. If they find fault at all it is generally at dinner. Most women are as sweet-tempered in the morning as in the evening. If the men were as consistent we would not have so hard a time of it."