Seeing General Jackson

1900

The habitual teller of "yarns" is bound to get himself into all manner of difficulties sooner or later, and to become a laughing-stock among his fellows. In the old Massachusetts town of Wrentham many amusing reminiscences of a celebrated "town liar" of a previous generation, Carlos Ware by name, are still related.

One day, in a company where Carlos was present, mention was made of the time when General Jackson travelled through the town on the stagecoach, on his way to Boston, and put up at the tavern for dinner. Carlos was at once reminded of his own experience on that occasion.

"I remember him," said he. "I see him git down out o' the coach and go into the tavern. You see, I was down to the Four Corners mowin'. It was a pretty hot day, and my team was standin' under a tree. I had just finished whettin' my scythe, when I heard the horn blow on the stagecoach. I knew General Jackson was comin' into the town.

"So I hung my scythe up on a tree, hitched up my team, and drove down here to the Centre in just two minutes. I —"

"Drove down here in two minutes!" exclaimed somebody. "You couldn't do it in two minutes. It's a good mile and a half to the Four Corners, and everybody knows it."

Carlos Ware was bothered for an instant, but he would not give up his two minutes.

"Well, you see," said he, "'twas awful good sleighin'!"

—Youth's Companion.

A Record Egg Yarn — I Don't Believe a Bit of It!

1909

A Record Egg Yarn

NEWTON, Iowa — The best egg story of the season comes from a farmer residing near Newton Iowa: "About a month ago," he says, "one of my hens got crazy with the desire of hatching a family of chicks, so, to please her, I secured fifteen choice looking eggs for her to set on. In selecting the eggs I noticed one unusually large, but of such symmetrical form that I decided to let it go as the fifteenth. This egg proved to be double and hatched two birds, one a duck and the other a turkey, and there they stood side by side, head and tail, for their wings were connected. I am sorry to say they lived only a short time, as neither would walk backward, both traveled forward in circles, each around the other, until both died from dizziness."


Marriage Law Sinful

NEW YORK, Oct. 6. — "Mrs. Stetson's belief that the marriage state is sinful and should be abolished, is the cause of her being deposed by the Christian Science church."

Such was the declaration of Mrs. Della M. Gilbert in her apartment at the Hotel Gotham. She is the leader of what she terms "the reform movement" in Christian Science. She will open a new church in the Hotel Gotham ballroom next Sunday.


Alfonso Ready To Flee

PARIS, France — The costly war in Morocco is rapidly precipitating a crisis in Spain which may bring about the overthrow of King Alfonso. Conditions in Spain are more nearly revolutionary than during the Barcelona upright. It is understood all arrangements have been made for a hurried departure of the royal family if the storm breaks.