Review-Headlight

Swat the fly!
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If all dreams came true, people would soon quit eating mince pie.
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The modern man who takes up his bed and walks is the mattress salesman.
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Holland produces 142,000 pounds of butter a year. Enough to butter both sides of her bread.
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If the drinking cup is to go, some economist of pocket space might combine a straw with a fountain pen.
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"Imbecile insanity" is the newest. We may yet hear of "insane lunacy" if the experts run out of adjectives.
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Shoe manufacturers announce that the feet of American women are growing larger. The ungallant wretches!
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The story persists that the monorail system of transportation is to go to Alaska and grow up with the country.
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The Chicago youth who eloped with a girl and seven trunks would make a huge success in the express business.
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The Oklahoma woman who has 13 sons, all under 5 years of age, is not suffering from the lack of something to do.
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There seems to be a remarkable international unanimity of opinion about the harem skirt. It has been mobbed in Brazil.
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Some of New York's fashionable women are carrying canes. Must be inconvenient when they are pushing baby buggies.
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Further evidence that China is about to wake up. A Chicago mail order house has shipped 10,000 alarm clocks to Peking.
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A $30,000,000 bread trust is being organized in New York, and we presume that its motto will be: "Half a loaf is better than one."
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Some of these decrepit old baseball veterans who have attained the advanced age of 33 or 34 years might land a job selling tickets.
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--The Ellis Review-Headlight, Ellis, Kansas, 1911, No. 31

Comment: Checking around, I notice this column, which above is shortened because it is from a clipping, is the same precise column as in another newspaper. Why, I can't explain exactly, unless it was syndicated. But there's no notice of that. In The Stevens Point Journal, Stevens Points, Wisconsin, May 6, 1911, the same exact column appears. The really weird thing is the formatting is virtually the same on the whole column, like twins, to the newspaper name above and double lines. One little difference, a typo one way or the other, is the Kansas issue says the Oklahoma woman has 13 sons all under 5 years of age, and the Wisconsin paper says "under 6 years."