True to the Name

1900

The group on the front porch was discussing the merits and demerits of the house dog, a magnificent animal that lay basking in the sun.

"Have you any idea," asked one of the guests, "why he is called a 'Great Dane'?"

"Yes," slowly replied the owner of the dog. "It has always seemed to me that it must be because it is such a great 'deign' for him to notice any smaller animal."

A young woman with a pug nose turned it up slightly at this explanation, but there were no other signs of dissent. — Youth's Companion.


Shipbuilding Around Great Lakes

Shipbuilding around the great lakes bids fair to be as brisk for 1900 as for the two years previous. In addition to the new tonnage on the lakes, the government has under construction, or authorized, the greatest number of ships in its history. Some 75 vessels of all classes, giving employment to more than 10,000 mechanics of different grades, are under construction.

Pointed Paragraphs — Carpenters Are Counterfitters

1900

The telescope lens enchantment to the distant view.

An egg in hand is worth more than a hen in the bush.

When a woman is in love it is very apt to increase her sighs.

Woman is the only tyrant that some men are not inclined to resist.

You can always bank on finding a well-filled pocketbook interesting.

Some people evidently go to the opera just to hear themselves talk.

When a man becomes a chronic loafer he begins to prey upon his neighbors.

Every time you avoid doing wrong you increase your inclination to do right.

The police should keep an eye on carpenters; many of them are counterfitters.

It's safer to be ignorant of a secret that's dangerous to keep than it is to know it.

Age is venerable in man — and it would be in woman were she to become old.

Sometimes a man has no confidence in other men because he has none in himself.

Medicine and advice are two things that it is always more pleasant to give than to receive.

Joseph's brethren probably cast him into the pit because they thought it was a good opening for a young man.

Ice cream and bon-bons may be the food of love, but bread and meat occupy important positions on the matrimonial bill of fare.

Intuition is something that tells a woman her husband is lying when he comes home at 2 a.m. and begins to explain the whys and wherefores. — Chicago News.

Short Shorts

1900

Conventional Wisdom

The duelist's aim is at the point of honor.

Some business men only win financial success through failures.

The fresh young man is generally not worth his salt.

If a lazy man is comfortable he is happy.

The woman who is fond of home isn't necessarily homely.

A vain woman is like a street piano — she is full of airs.

Never judge a man by his relatives — they are not of his own selection.

Every man who isn't prominent imagines he will be some day.

The boy who works in a bowling alley earns his pin money.

The aristocratic dentist should be a man of excellent extraction.

There are few people who think they are worse than they really are.

Wit is a diamond in the rough that is polished by adversity.

The only step from the sublime to the ridiculous is usually a short one.

The flustrated bride usually has all sorts of presence except presence of mind.

He who lacks time to make also lacks time to mend.

A woman who probably speaks from experience says a husband who can be led isn't worth leading.

You will observe that men who post as fancy whistlers seldom amount to much.

Return good for evil. If your enemy heaps coals of fire on your head, pile chunks of ice on his.