Saturday, June 23, 2007

Bagpipe Music Kills a Horse


The important question of whether or not the bagpipes are musical instruments has been settled in the negative by a Milwaukee jury.

William Mattham brought suit against the Wisconsin Theatre Company for damages sustained by his horse taking fright at a procession headed by a Scottish piper in full Highland costume, who was waking the echoes with "The Campbells Are Coming." The sight caused the horse to rear and plunge and finally drop dead.

The foreman of the jury happened to be a German with decided opinions on the question of music. The prosecution sought to show that the bagpipe was not a musical instrument. In this the foreman agreed. He held that it had no place in a Wagnerian symphony, and was nothing but a "doodle-sack." In consequence of these views the jury returned the following unique verdict:

"State of Wisconsin, Milwaukee County. William Mattham vs. Wisconsin Theatre Company, ss. — We, the jury in the above entitled action, find:

"1. That the doodle-sack is not a musical instrument.

"2. That the said horse, being of a nervous temperament, was scared to death by an unearthly noise made by a friend with the aforesaid doodle-sack.

"3. That the plaintiff shall recover from the defendants for said horse the sum of $125." — Chicago Times-Herald.

Wouldn't Wind His Clock

A jeweler of Tuscola, Michigan, says that during the past year one clock has been brought to him seven times for repairs, and each time all that was wrong with it was that it needed winding. Each time he explained the cause to the owner, but after a few weeks, or sometimes months, the clock, being neglected, would stop, the owner would shake it, blow in it, and then take it to the jeweler, who would astonish him by winding it and handing it back. — New York Sun.

No comments: