The Dilatory Woman

1901

When women have an appointment to meet down town at a certain place, each lingers in her own apartment until the hour set for the meeting so that she won't have to wait an unconscionable time for the other at the rendezvous. Femininity is almost invariably late, even for business engagements, and any excuse it offers, however trivial, it thinks should be accepted as valid.

At catching trains and boats the dilatory sex is nevertheless unusually adept. It is said by those who are fond of gathering such statistics that one woman misses a train to about ten men. Madam, however oblivious she may be of time in other matters, if she is going away is sure to be at the station bright and early and with 20 minutes to spare. Whether this proves that the sex is selfish or merely that it is, in the language of the times, "long headed" is a question for consideration.

Sandglasses Still Used To Measure Time

1900

A Sure and Silent Timer

Strange to say, the sandglass is still used to measure varying periods of time. The size depends upon the purposes to which they are to be put. The hour glass is still in use in the sick room, and in the music room, in both places affording a sure and silent indication of the progress of time.

Half-hour glasses are used in schools, and fifteen-minute glasses are used for medical purposes, and the sandglass also goes into the kitchen as an aid to exact cooking. There are also ten-minute glasses, five-minute and three-minute glasses, the two latter being used to time the boiling period of eggs. The three-minute sandglass is called an "egg boiler." Sand-glasses are also used for scientific purposes and on shipboard.

The sand is carefully prepared by a thorough cleaning, including boiling. It is then baked dry, and then ground into the requisite fineness and uniformity, as sharp sand would be likely to become wedged in the opening between the two sections of the glass. The sand is then introduced into the glass through an opening left for that purpose in the end of one bulb, the opening then being sealed, the right quantity in each sand glass is gauged by actually timing the flow from one part of the glass to the other, and every glass is individually treated like a good thermometer. The glasses are usually mounted in cylindrical frames or holders, so that the twin bulbs can be seen at all times.


Why We Are Like the Crow

Aside from the special question of profit and loss, we have a warm side toward the crow, he is so much like ourselves, said the late Henry Ward Beecher. He is lazy, and that is human; he is cunning.and that is human. He thinks his own color is best, and loves to hear his own voice, which are eminent traits of humanity. He will never work when he can get another to work for him — a genuine human trait. He eats whatever he can get his claws upon, and is less mischievous with a belly full than when hungry and this is like man. Take off their wings and put them in breeches, and crows would make fair average men. Give men wings and reduce their smartness a little, and many of them would be almost good enough to be crows.

Differences Seen in Men's and Women's Sense of Humor

1904

Best Judges of Humor

It takes a better joke to make a woman smile than it takes to make a man laugh for five minutes. A man will laugh at a stale joke every time, but a stale joke makes a woman feel like weeping.

These are two of the comparisons between the feminine and the masculine senses of humor made by Oreola Williams Haskell in the current number of The Club Woman, the official publication of the General Federation of Women's Clubs.

"One of the differences between man and woman," declares the writer, "and one frequently alluded to by the former, is that he has a strong sense of humor and she has none at all. This truth by woman is accounted for by the fact that her long association with man through the centuries has effectively knocked out whatever festive spirit she once possessed, and man attributes his easily aroused risibilities to a habit acquired while observing the vagaries of the feminine mind.

"Whatever the true explanation may be, it is conceded by all that man would rather laugh than weep, and that woman is at least undecided as to whether she prefers to smile at a stale joke or to attend a tragic play with four pocket handkerchiefs ready to dry her tears.

The writer objects strongly to man's habit of making fun of his wife's shortcomings as a housekeeper to call forth a laugh.

She urges that man's play upon woman's credulity is one of his chief joys, and, speaking of this, Mrs. Haskell declares, "Thus it is seen on what a high plane man indulges his sense of humor. If woman would be his true companion, let her sympathize with and heartily enjoy what amuses and attracts him and appreciate the comic gems of which he is the author. For woman must remember that we are put here to be disciplined, and, though the funny side of life is often the saddest, she must be content to suffer, to pay for the exquisite privilege of living in the same world with him."

Speaking of the various kinds of humor enjoyed by men and women, the writer says, "At the present time man evinces a great fondness for what may be called physical humor. While the petticoated portion of an audience will receive a vaudeville set-to with stolid indifference, what interest it awakens in the kind of people who have a proclivity for rushing out between the acts!

"When the heavy comedian comes out and greets a diminutive companion with such a resounding whack on the back that the latter falls prostrate on the stage, the bass roar of the male voice peals from orchestra circle to highest balcony, while soprano giggle is strangely silent. Again, when an individual whom burnt cork and paint have rendered almost unhuman portrays the inebriate with his zigzag promenade and his hiccoughed utterances, with what responsive glee he is hailed by his own sex!

"Woman lacks the keen intellect to see the delicate wit in pugilistic thumps rained on crouching shoulders and spasmodic kicks that result in nasty and undignified departures from the scene of action. She is also without the power to appreciate the sidesplitting humor of a drunkard's tumbles or a rough-and-tumble fight. It is man alone who can understand just where the comic element comes in and who can enjoy the fine shades of distinction between a punch and a pound, a misstep and a fall, a disagreement and a rumpus.

"But besides physical fun man indulges his love for the spoken, the written and the acted joke. So great indeed, is his fondness for the former that he even bears with equanimity the constant repetition of the same witticisms from one year's end to another."