For Health and Beauty

1895

The Doctor Says They Both Depend on Clean Bedchambers.

The room in which one sleeps is the room in which one breathes and absorbs, whether it be pure or impure air. A dust laden atmosphere will clog up the lungs in a very short time, and bad air will lay the seeds of consumption, fevers and all the horrors which flesh is heir to and which come through careless neglect of the simple laws of life as anything else.

The ideal bedchamber is airy. It opens on free air and is bathed in sunshine all day. It has matting on the floor, and if the occupant is an anaconda by nature a rug of fur or wool flung in the center of the room. The windows are securely screened from cracks by well fitting frames and weather strips, and so obviate the necessity for heavy draperies, which accumulate dust and disease germs. The muslin curtains which adorn the windows, hung on slender brass rods, are washed as soon as they are at all dusty. The furniture is to suit the occupant's fancy, but is not too cumbersome to be easily moved aside and frequently dusted. Hygienic wall paper, which can be wiped off with a damp cloth, covers the walls.

The bed is of brass or iron, without draperies, with spring hair mattress and no flat bolster, no pillows. The bedclothes are light and warm, blankets being used instead of heavy quilts.

In this healthful apartment the occupant sleeps from eight to ten hours, going to sleep before 12, and here the gas is turned out, and the window opened for 15 minutes every night before the sleeper goes to sleep.

In the morning an hour's airing, with the windows open, is not too much for the healthful woman's room. The matting should be wiped up with a damp cloth every day or every other day, and dust should be fought as one would death or disease — not only for appearance and happiness' sake, but for health and beauty's sake too. — New York Advertiser.

Mr. Ketcham Wants a Divorce

New York, 1895

George W. Ketcham, jr., of Northport, seeks a divorce from his wife, Luella M. Ketcham, naming Michael Rannay as corespondent. Mrs. Ketcham left her home suddenly on the night of January 2, and, with Ranney, went to Brooklyn and set up housekeeping.

—The Long Island Farmer, Jamaica, NY, Jan. 25, 1895, p. 1.

Man Begs for Food with $83 In Pocket

1920

Claims He's a House Cleaner — "He Sure Is," Says Cop.

KANSAS CITY, Missouri. — Four pocketbooks and $83 were found on Steve Crumply by David Kepler, a Wyandotte County deputy sheriff, after Mrs. Kepler had responded to Steven's backdoor plea for food.

Crumpley explained the pocketbooks and cash by telling the dubious deputy sheriff that he was a house cleaner.

"House cleaner is right! Come with me," commanded Kepler. He led the man from the Kepler home to police headquarters.

Crumpley told Judge A. J. Herrod in the police court that he lived at the Helping Hand Institute. He refused, even tho he had $83, to pay a $50 fine, so he was locked up.

—The Saturday Blade, Chicago, Aug. 7, 1920, p. 5.

Sanitary Lid for Teakettle

1916

Safety Device That Prevents Burns When Refilling.

Many a housewife has sustained a bad burn from lifting the hot lid of the kettle she was attempting to refill. A teakettle lid has been invented which will render this impossible. The lid has an automatic valve in the center which opens as the flow of water is turned upon it and closes when the water is shut off. This valve is at the bottom of a depression in the lid, and the concave thus formed is a convenient place to set a cup or other small vessel containing butter to be melted or other ingredients requiring gentle heat. The lid is of aluminum, thoroly sanitary and indorsed by the cooking experts who have seen it.



Chickens and Electricity

1916

By treating young chickens with high frequency, high voltage currents of electricity a London experimenter has made them grow more rapidly than those of the same age reared without the treatment.

—The Saturday Blade, Chicago, Sept. 16, 1916, p. 9.

My Neighbor Says

1929

To clean a leather bag, wash it well with tepid water and a little saddle soap.

To prevent the bristles of a tooth brush coming out soak the brush when new in cold water for twenty-four hours before using it.

Don't draw hot water from the tank when baking. If you do the oven will cool off.

Give house plants a little liquid plant food during the winter. Soil grows poor in the house and needs to be enriched.

Joke Is Played on Peddler

1915

Victim Makes Queer Discovery Next Morning

A peddler arrived one evening at a small town and went to the only hotel there. Every room had already been engaged, but the hotel-keeper offered him a room which he could share with a negro. The peddler agreed, and asked to be awakened early the next morning.

Several jokers overheard the proceedings, and while the peddler slept blackened his face.

The next morning, being in a hurry to catch a train he made straight for the station when he was awakened. While passing the mirror in the waiting-room he stopped suddenly and exclaimed: "Hang it all! They've called the wrong guy!"


True to the Last

"Yes," said the traveler, "my wife's mother was the most admirable housekeeper that ever lived. Poor soul, she was eaten by cannibals in Africa."
"You don't mean it!"
"Alas! it's true. Why, when the savages had thrust her into the cauldron and she was beginning to cook, she cried out faintly with her last breath, 'Don't forget the salt and pepper.'"


Can't Look the Part Now

"John, dear," said his wife, "there was a poor man here today asking for old clothes and I gave him that shabby old overcoat of yours that was hanging in the attic. You didn't want it, did you?"
"Of course I wanted it!" exclaimed John wrathfully. "That's the one I always wear when I swear off my taxes."


About Five

[From the Pea Ridge (Ark.) Pod]

Mr. French who lived one mile south of town died Tuesday, of last week, and was buried at Siloam Springs, Wednesday. He leaves a wife and about five children to mourn his death.


Detects Smokeless Powder

United States naval officers have developed a colored glass which renders visible the fumes from smokeless powder.

Servants in South Africa

1900

Only rich people can afford to keep white servants in South Africa. All ordinary folk, says a contributor to the London Mail, have to be content with the well-meant, if casual, ministrations of the native "house-boy."

The best of all servants is a Zulu, especially if he is raw, that is, fresh from his native kraal and totally unspoiled by the wiles of civilization. Such a boy is honest, sober, quick, clean, and anxious to learn the ways of the "umlungu," or white man.

He soon becomes as deft as an English butler, and as handy as the ideal housemaid. He does everything, from cooking to answering the door, and after a little practice he does it well. His knowledge of English at first is scanty, but he soon picks up a few words and mixes up Kaffir, Dutch and English in a quaint polyglot dialect.

When they are new to their work the boys make funny mistakes. A lady once had a good but raw boy who did not understand the etiquette of visiting-cards. Three visitors called. Two of them gave the boy their cards; the third did not happen to have one with her. The boy ushered the first two into the drawing-room, but kept the third waiting in the hall, saying, "Two misses got ticket. You no got ticket, you wait outside."

The boys have all manner of strange names, usually chosen by themselves from some one or other of the words that they hear often used, such as Sixpence, "Tickey" (three-penny piece), Shilling, Breakfast, Kettle, Silly Fool, Ugly, Pint Pot, Scrubber, Chopper or Whiskey.

Of course they have their own tribal names, but they never use them in white men's houses, and if none of the aforementioned common objects serves to provide an appellation, the boy is usually Jim, Charley or John. — Youth's Companion.

Managing a Husband

1910

Men are like children; they want managing, although you must never let them dream that you think so. No child likes to be ordered about, no man will endure coercion. But managing! It is an art so subtle, so elusive, that few women understand even the rudiments of it.

Sisters mine, let us reason together, says Woman's Life. In every human being there is a spark of the divine; it is yours to fan that spark into a flame — that is managing a man — it is to get the very best out of him there is to have, and not two women in ten can do it. Do not think that there is anything unworthy in managing a man — to bring out the best is a high vocation.

Only let us see to it that we are worthy of it. There are women who have made angels of men, but at the cost of their own divinity. There is room for more than one unselfish person in a family.


His Bad Break

"Will you love me when I am old?" she whispered. "Didn't I tell you that I love you now?" he responded. And she didn't speak to him again for a whole week.


Not Risking a Quarrel

Heiress-Tell me truly, Arthur, is it your love or your reason prompts you to marry me? Arthur—Just as you like, dearest.


To Credit's Discredit

Business will have its periodical reverses so long as a man who couldn't pay cash for a wheelbarrow is able to buy an automobile on credit.

Letting the Wife Know Guests Are Coming

1914

It is difficult for some men to see that it makes it much easier for a wife, in her domestic arrangements with the cook and behind the scenes, if her husband sends her word before the arrival of a guest that he intends bringing home for dinner or over night, ventures the Ladies' Home Journal.

Of course, in any well regulated family the latch string always hangs out, as the saying goes, and an extra plate is easily laid for the unexpected guest. But does a man in his business like to get an order that he cannot fill? Does he like to say he hasn't it in stock? Does he care to be caught shorthanded? Neither does a good housekeeper nor a good cook.

In households where there are money and food to throw away the case is different. But in most homes, where every penny — or every potato — counts, it is only fair for the office side to the let the distaff side know beforehand. It is the right of the wife to know.

The Trained Housekeeper — So Your Maid Knows What She's Doing

1895

Benefits Derived from a Scientific Court of Learning

The domestic problem is one of the most vexing as well as important problems of the day.

Training schools for servants are as necessary as they are loudly advocated, but the mistress needs training quite as much as the servant — a training which a season at a fashionable cooking school is inadequate to give.

And it is the middle class housekeeper — the woman who keeps only one servant, the woman whose mother in nine cases out of ten was a notable housekeeper, and did her own work — who needs systematic and scientific training far more than do the heads of more luxurious households, for among these it is no unusual thing to find women who are perfect in every department of housekeeping.

The best housekeeper I know possesses millions in her own right. She never has trouble with servants, for one reason, because she can afford to pay the highest prices, and for another, because she thoroughly understands what duties to expect of each and is quick to recognize the slightest deficiency. She does not always get perfect servants, but she does get the order of intelligence capable of profiting by the instruction given. Her new maids are always turned over to the care of a valued and trusty servant, whom she herself trained many years ago.

When every mother recognizes it as one of her highest duties and privileges to make thorough housekeepers of her daughters, then and only then shall we have cause to congratulate ourselves upon the "New Woman." — New York Herald.

Housecleanograms

1916

Husbands flee when dustpan pursueth.

What you wife yanks out you must tack down.

A dinner in town is worth ten off the set tubs.

When your wife asks you to clean the rug — beat it!

No woman is a Lillian Russell when she is cleaning house.

Behold, how great a mess a little soap and water maketh!

He who reneges and runs away will live till next housecleaning day!

No man steppeth on a cake of soap and getteth up and praiseth the Lord!

What is Expected of a Mother?

1919--

WHAT IS EXPECTED OF A MOTHER

In thinking over what is expected of the average woman who becomes a housekeeper, wife, and mother, it occurs to a recent writer that she must be master of all the arts and sciences in order to properly fit her position. Her education, to be complete, must be perfect along many lines.

She must be entertaining and accomplished, to charm her husband and her husband's friends; she must be a well-rounded housekeeper, understand cooking thoroughly, else how can she direct the energies of her domestic in that line?

She must be well acquainted with the sanitary code, to see that her house is well ventilated, properly heated, and the plumbing in good condition; must know how to attend to the marketing and general buying, so that sufficient economy may be practiced; must make all her own calls, and her husband's as well, to keep in touch with her social duties; her knowledge of sewing must be such as to keep the family mending done, if not to fashion the clothes; then, when the children come, she must be a trained kindergartner, and then, later on, she must remember all she ever learned at school or college, so as not to be put to shame by the girl or boy of the twentieth century, while at the same time she must be young again to enter into their joys and sentiments, and see that their companions are what they should be, and when sickness comes a mother is expected to be a trained nurse, ready to be up day and night, taking the temperature, giving the medicine.

--Ironwood Daily Globe, Ironwood, Michigan, November 20, 1919, page 10.

While He Was Rich

----------
Just So
"He always was a bad egg, but nobody seemed to notice it while he was rich."
"Yes, he was all right until he was broke."
----------
Explained
"Now they claim that the human body contains sulphur."
"In what amount?"
"Oh, in varying quantities."
"Well, that may account for some girls making better matches than others."
----------
Quite So
"Was your brother hurt at pole vaulting last night?"
"Yes, but he hopes to get over it all right."
----------
A man of few words isn't cut out for a compositor.
----------
A woman who speaks but one language usually talks enough for two.
----------

Advertisements from 1911:

The greatest cause of worry on ironing day can be removed by using Defiance Starch, which will not stick to the iron. Sold everywhere, 16 oz. for 10c.
----------
Clear white clothes are a sign that the housekeeper uses Red Cross Ball Blue. Large 2 oz. package, 5 cents.
----------
Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets regulate and invigorate stomach, liver and bowels. Sugar-coated, tiny granules, easy to take as candy.
----------
The use of the Gillette. Known the world over, starts habits of energy---initiation.
----------
New York, New York, Riverdale Ave., near 252d St., West.
A Country School for Girls
In New York City. Best features of country and city life. Out-of-door sports on school park of 35 acres near the Hudson River. Academic Course Primary Class to Graduation, Music and Art. Miss Bangs and Miss Whiton.

--The Ellis Review-Headlight, Ellis, Kansas, 1911.