THE BIG REASON

"Why, Harold, your hair is ever so much thinner than it was when I first met you."
"I know that, my dear. But, honestly, now, I'm sure there are other reasons." -- The Humorist.

AFTER THE AWAKENING
"Have you heard about Betty? Jim proposed to her in his car."
"How really romantic! And she accepted, of course?"
"Yes, in the hospital." -- Answers.

THE FOWL ESCAPED
LANDLADY: I'm sorry you do not think the chicken soup is good, sir. I told the cook how to make it, but perhaps she did not catch the idea.
BOARDER: No, I think it was the chicken she didn't catch. -- Answers.

ONE OR THE OTHER
SMITH: It must be nice to own a car.
MILLER: I know it ought to be, but I've never enjoyed it. Either the car is being repaired, or else I am. -- Die Woche im Bild.

ALSO RAN
HUBBY (at the races): Let me back one more horse. I promise you it'll be the last.
WIFE (gloomily): It usually is. -- Karikaturen.