IN -- AND OUT AGAIN

In one of the last engagements of the war an American sergeant ordered a negro private to go into a dugout and clean out any Germans that happened to be left. The soldier hesitated a moment, swallowed his Adam's apple, and then said huskily: "Eff yo' see three or fo' men come a-runnin' out o' dat hole, don't shoot the fust one!" -- The Humorist.

NOT FAST ENOUGH
SEASIDE LADY: Going home so soon, Mrs. Svensson?
"Yes; I can't rest any longer."
"What is the matter?"
"Whenever I write to my husband for money, he sends it by return mail." -- Vart Hem.

THAT WOULDN'T DO
LAWYER: Now, the first thing to do is prove an alibi. I suppose there is somebody who saw you at seven o'clock -- the time when the crime was committed?
CLIENT: No, thank goodness! -- Van Hem, Stockholm.

NO DANGER
The two actresses were having tea together, and among the topics of conversation that came up was burglary.
"I always feel safe when there's a man in the house," remarked the brunette.
"I don't see why you shouldn't, dear," purred the blonde. -- Moustique, Charleroi.