Parry a Compliment, Accept One, Give Your Attention

1902

Accept One Always, but Never Take It Seriously

The famous Mme. Recamier said that she always found two words sufficed to make her guests seem welcome. Upon their arrival she exclaimed, "At last!" and when they took their leave she said, "Already?" If taken literally, we should deprecate the flattery. Flattery is insincere praise and wrongs him that gives and him that takes. It is sometimes kinder to accept a compliment than to parry it.

One may say "Thank you, it is pleasant to be seen through such kind (or partial) eyes," or perhaps, "It is a comfort to know that friendship is partly blind as well as the mythological boy," or any nonsense that serves to show that one appreciates the spirit that prompted the kind expression, however wide the truth.

The frequent repetition of the name of the person addressed h olds a subtle compliment, implying more complete concentration on the speaker's thought upon his or her personality.

De Quincy says: "More will be done for the benefit of conversation by the simple magic of good manners than by all varieties of intellectual power."

It is the sympathetic and responsive listeners that call forth the best efforts of a talker. For such are reserved his choicest stories, his finest thoughts.

A ready smile acts as inspiration, and interest shown in the conversation of others stimulates and vivifies their thoughts.

To a good listener the diffident will say what they think, and the verbose will think what they say.

There is nothing more trying than to find that one's conversation is receiving but a divided attention and nothing more rude than for a person to pick up a book or paper and look over it while pretending to listen to what one is saying. — New York Herald.