His Wife Mussed Up His System

1916

Until Married a Certain Man Wore His Shirts in Chronological Order — He Used Tags

I know a man who wears his shirts in chronological order, says a writer in Cleveland Plain Dealer. That is, if he buys a new shirt he tags it with his initials, numbering it at the bottom of the pile. And no matter how much he likes it, he does not wear it until it comes out at the top of the pile. He went into wordy detail about the economy of his system — and he added that he arranged his socks in the same manner.

I told him that he would meet the woman of his dreams some fine day, and that she would knock the spots out of his system. I told him that she would admire a particular shirt, caress its delicate stripes lovingly, and ask why he didn't wear it oftener. And then he would send it to the laundry as soon as it was soiled, and wear it as soon as it got back; and he would forget the system.

"Don't you believe it," he said. "The person doesn't live who could upset my system!"

But I met him a few days ago — for the first time in a year. He was hurrying to catch a car, so I had only time to ask him how he was and how things were going. And he didn't have time to explain — he only shouted over his shoulder, jubilantly: "I'm wearing 'em every which way!"

And I hadn't even heard he was married!