A Cheerful Soul

1902

"Hanks always looks on the bright side of everything. Do you know what he said when he lost his job the other day?"
"I haven't heard."
"He seemed to be quite cheerful over it. 'You see,' he explained, 'I applied for a raise of salary nearly six months ago and didn't get it. Think of how much more I would have had to lose if they'd given me the increase." — Chicago Record-Herald.


He Dropped the Subject

He was talking to the pessimistic, sharp-tongued damsel.
"Have you noticed," he asked, "that, as a general thing, bachelors are wealthier than married men?"
"I have," she replied.
"How do you account for it?" he inquired.
"The poor man marries and the rich one doesn't," she answered. "A man is much more disposed to divide nothing with a woman than he is to divide something." — Chicago Post.

The Spinster in Society

1896

It is difficult to see who would take her place socially, should the spinster vanish from the land. A gracious lady, tactful beyond the dreaming of the young girl, to whom the world is still a place of enchantment, in which, half unconsciously to herself, she poses as the principal figure, the spinster smoothes away embarrassments, does the right thing, speaks the right word in the right place, and keeps the wheels of life running without friction. To her, serene, well bred, tranquil, aware of good and evil, tolerant of that which is mere crudity and inexperience, severe only where falseness and cruelty challenge, soft spoken, sweet mannered, or possibly brusque and spicy, yet none the less charming.

If a woman of wealth, the spinster holds in her capable hands the threads of many charities, advising here, bestowing there, withholding or endowing, as she deems judicious. Perhaps she develops in her own person rare gifts — music, painting, embroidery — attaining in each a degree of excellence which only leisure and taste in combination can arrive at. Very likely she prefers to seek out gifted younger people, boys and girls, who need that some one should believe in and help them on, and to these she is a patron saint. Many lines of work are open to her which marriage would have closed, since the wife and mother must exclusively devote to her home and sphere of action talents and sympathies which the spinster may use in the service of her age. Though the one be more blessedly happy, the other is not without rewards and compensations.

Poor in this world's goods, the spinster fills equally a most important niche. Her modern education makes her an independent factor in many fields, a not-to-be-despised competitor in the market and the shop. And since probably she need not remain a spinster unless she choose, society owes her its thanks for her generosity in keeping herself at its service, and making so winsome a feature of its moving panorama. — San Francisco Chronicle.

Gypsy Is Identified by Alleged Victim

1920

Blacksmith Says Woman "Blessed" Away His Bank Roll.

LINCOLN, Neb. — William Dunagan, of Roca, a little village near Lincoln, has identified a young gypsy mother as the woman who "blessed away" $248 of his bank roll in Roca last fall.

Mr. Dunagan is a blacksmith and alleges that the gypsy woman was one of a party riding in eight automobiles that stopped in Roca to have one of the machines repaired.

After he had repaired the car, he says, the woman "blessed him" and took all of the money he had on his person.


20-Cent Tax for Bachelors

Ohio Town Wants Single Men to Pay Sum Monthly

YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio. — Unmarried men who pay no municipal taxes may be taxed at a rate of about 20 cents a month. A measure including that provision was reported favorably by the city council and is being considered by the mayor's advisory board. It was estimated such a tax would net the city $192,000 annually.

His Wife Mussed Up His System

1916

Until Married a Certain Man Wore His Shirts in Chronological Order — He Used Tags

I know a man who wears his shirts in chronological order, says a writer in Cleveland Plain Dealer. That is, if he buys a new shirt he tags it with his initials, numbering it at the bottom of the pile. And no matter how much he likes it, he does not wear it until it comes out at the top of the pile. He went into wordy detail about the economy of his system — and he added that he arranged his socks in the same manner.

I told him that he would meet the woman of his dreams some fine day, and that she would knock the spots out of his system. I told him that she would admire a particular shirt, caress its delicate stripes lovingly, and ask why he didn't wear it oftener. And then he would send it to the laundry as soon as it was soiled, and wear it as soon as it got back; and he would forget the system.

"Don't you believe it," he said. "The person doesn't live who could upset my system!"

But I met him a few days ago — for the first time in a year. He was hurrying to catch a car, so I had only time to ask him how he was and how things were going. And he didn't have time to explain — he only shouted over his shoulder, jubilantly: "I'm wearing 'em every which way!"

And I hadn't even heard he was married!