No Cause For Him to Complain

1902

"See here," remarked the guest to the new waiter, "there doesn't seem to be any soup on this menu card."
"Oh, no, sir," replied the waiter, nervously, "I didn't spill it at this table — it was the one on the other side of the room." — Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.


Satiric

"Don't you think that some people in society are very deficient in manners?" said the man who had been annoyed by a box party.
"Perhaps," answered Miss Cayenne; "but possibly they are not to blame. They have to meet so many customs house inspectors, you know." — Washington Star.


As She Reasoned It

"It is but natural," said Mrs. Van Scadders, "that those who possess wealth should consider themselves the best people."
"I don't quite follow you?"
"It is an axiom that everything is for the best."
"Yes."
"And the people with money are the only ones who have a chance to get everything." — Washington Star.