Patient Man — Suppose a woman makes it so hot for her husband that he can't live with her and he leaves her. What can she do?
Lawyer — Sue him for support.
"Suppose she has run him so heavily into debt that he can't support her, because his creditors grab every penny as quick as he gets it?"
"If for any reason he fails to pay her the amount ordered, he will be sent to jail for contempt of court."
"Suppose she drives him out of the house with a flatiron and he's afraid to go back?" "She can sue him for desertion."
"Well, I don't see anything for me to do but go and hang myself."
"It's against the law to commit suicide, and if you are caught attempting it you'll be imprisoned. Thirteen and fourpence, please. Good day!" — Tit-Bits.
Irish In Ireland.
Irish is spreading in the schools of Ireland — 1,051 candidates presented themselves for examination in their native tongue last year as compared with 831 the year before. The number of schoolmasters who obtained certificates to teach Irish doubled. Irish was taught in 11 new board schools, and the sale of books of the Society For the Preservation of the Irish Language was greatly increased. — Philadelphia Ledger.
Monday, September 8, 2008