Smashes His Fist In Dream

1916

Dentist Thinks He's in a Fight and Punches Wall.

TORRINGTON, Connecticut. — No teeth are being drilled, filled, drawn or quartered in the office of Dr. Arthur E. Guildford today because his right hand is all out of shape.

Dr. Guildford dreamed that he was horsewhipping another man, but his blows were so violent that he soon wore out the whip. His victim realized the predicament and sprang at the dentist. Doubling his right fist, Dr. Guildford lunged such a terrific blow at the horsewhipped man that he almost knocked a hole thru the wall next to the bed.

The blow awakened every one else in the house and a physician had to be called to apply arnica and bandages to Dr. Guildford's battered tooth-pulling hand. Every one in Torrington would like to know who Dr. Guildford dreamed he was horsewhipping and why.

—The Saturday Blade, Chicago, Sept. 16, 1916, p. 7.

Cases of Queer Revenge

1901

In England, where men have more time for everything, including revenge, some queer methods of playing even have come into the courts.

Albert Bewdley of Leeds had a dog that howled at night. A naturalist next door did not like it, but had no legal recourse.

One day ants of the minute red variety began to overrun Bewdley's house. Nothing that could be done headed them off. They grew worse and worse. He had made up his mind to break his lease and move when one night he heard a noise in his dining room. Slipping down, he found the naturalist emptying a bag of ants on the floor. In court the naturalist paid damages, but he did it smilingly.

Rowley, the late English violinist, was hard to beat on his perseverance against one who had incurred his ill will.

Rowley had a quarrel with a horse dealer named Brant. It was a trivial matter, but Rowley took the next house to Brant, set up a piano, bought a cornet and proceeded to make insomnia for Brant.

After one or two assault cases in court Brant moved. Rowley bought out the next door neighbor and followed with piano and cornet. Brant went to law, but found he could do nothing. Failing, he took a detached house. Then Rowley hired brass bands and organs and assailed him. This was actionable, and Rowley paid £1,000 for his revenge. — Chicago Tribune.

Music and Bombs

1920

Music and the making of bombs do not go together, and the man who is radically against his government has no music in his soul, asserts the New York Mail. These facts are both evident, say reports of those who have investigated the homes of "suspects" for the Government.

"No musical instrument, not so much as a harmonica, has ever been found in a home that was raided by Government authorities in connection with Bolshevism," says M. M. Roemer, member of a music goods sales corporation.

—The Saturday Blade, Chicago, Jan. 3, 1920, p. 6.

The Too Sensitive Woman

1910

Those Easily Offended Bring Upon Themselves Many Sorrows That Are Unnecessary

Many are the sorrows of the easily offended. Should she be invited nowhere, it is for spite; should she, on the other hand, be asked to social events, it is for policy, and everyone will avoid her when she gets there.

No one in the world cares anything for her; her friends are false and her enemies many, though all undeserved. Every remark made about her contains a hidden innuendo, and any persons talking whispers in her hearing are gossiping about her.

She believes no proofs of affections, but is haunted always by the thought that the most trusted are the least trustworthy. She takes nothing for granted, but asks permissions and favors that others would never dream of as subjects for question.

And her thoughts are very real ones. It is easy to sneer at the too sensitive woman, but her life is wretched, and there is no one to throw on her the spiritual cold water she needs.

Let her only learn that there are others in the world besides herself, that she for her part has many virtues which must necessarily endear her to her acquaintances, and that if she would have confidence she will gain fidelity, and there will be an end of her, now, and forever!