Elephants' Tongues

1895

"Only a few of the many people who have thrown peanuts into the elephants' mouths," said Head Keeper Manley of the zoological gardens to a Philadelphia Record man, "have noticed that the tongue is hung at both ends. A tongue hung in the middle is a human complaint, but elephants have a monopoly on those hung at both ends. The trunk suffices to put the food just where it ought to be, and the tongue simply keeps it moving from side to side over the grinders. When a peanut gets stuck on the elephant's tongue he raises it in the middle, like a moving caterpillar, and the shell cracks against the roof of the mouth, to then disappear down a capacious throat."


Didn't Want to Sneeze

A whimsical old Englishman who died over a century ago left a will in which he stated what he wished done at his funeral. His first request was that sixty of his friends be invited, accompanied by five of the best fiddlers to be found in the town. Second, he wished no tears to be shed, but, on the other hand, insisted that the sixty friends should be "merry for two hours," on penalty of being sent away. And, finally, that "no snuff be brought upon the premises, lest I have a fit of sneezing." — Harper's Young People.


A singed cat dreads the cold.

Glossomancy New Science

1914

Reads Character by the Shape of the Tongue

PARIS, Aug. 1. — Glossomancy, or reading the character by the shape of the tongue, is a new science which has just come before the public and is creating quite a furor.

The glossomancers, or glossomancists, assert that a long tongue shows frankness; a short tongue, dissimilation; a broad tongue, unreservedness; a narrow tongue concentration.

When the tongue is long and broad the owner is inclined to be gossipy. When the tongue is long and narrow, he is moderately open and frank.

Those who possess short and broad tongues are untruthful; those whose tongues are short and narrow are sly as well as bad-tempered.

Slips of the Tongue

1914

Most amusing are the slips of the tongue which so often lead to embarrassing situations.

At an evening party a lady said to her partner, "Can you tell me who is that exceedingly plain young man opposite?"

"That is my brother," was the reply.

"Oh, I beg your pardon," she said in great confusion. "I did not notice the resemblance."

At a certain concert a lady asked a gentleman how he liked the duet she had just sung. "You sang charmingly," was the reply; "but why did you select such a horrid piece of music?"

"Sir, that was written by my late husband," was the indignant reply.

"Ah, yes, I did not mean — but why did you select such an ass to sing with you?"

"Oh, you brute!" screamed the lady. "That is my present husband."


Charity

Charity begins at home, and often ends there. It is usually divided into two kinds, namely, public and private. Public charity consists of a salaried office force and a subscription list. Private charity is what we give when we don't know what to do with the surplus.

There is also a species of charity known as genuine. Inasmuch, however, as it is never advertised in the newspapers, scarcely anything is known about it. — Life.


Saves Fisherman Trouble

Harness to hold a fishing pole, so as to leave a fisherman's hands free to manage his bait or catch, is an English invention.