Long Wars Due to Whiskers

1910

Trivial Incident Led to Three Hundred Years of Fighting

For ages beards were the delight of ancient beauties. The sight of a shaved chin excited sentiments of horror and aversion.

To obey the injunctions of his bishops, Louis VII of France cropped his hair a la pompadour and shaved off his luxuriant whiskers. Eleanor of Aquitane, his consort, found him with this uncommon appearance very ridiculous and very contemptible. She revenged herself by becoming something more than a coquette. The king obtained a divorce.

She then married the count of Anjou, who shortly afterward ascended the French throne, and gave him as her marriage dower the rich provinces of Poiton and Guienne; and this was the origin of those wars which for 300 years ravaged France and which cost the French nation 3,000,000 men.

All of which, probably, would have never taken place if Louis VII had not been so rash as to shave off his whiskers, by which he made himself so disgusting to the fair Eleanor.


Love Affairs of the Sexes

It is only her first love affair that a woman cherishes and remembers. Man is so lacking in originality that all the others are merely duplicates.