Quips on The News — "A Boston Spinster"

1911

A Boston spinster wants a five-dollar tax on bachelors. But surely she would not have any man value her so cheaply that he would marry her to save a paltry five.

Harvard astronomers have discovered a new star, but as said star is not one of the football variety, the discovery is not making much of a hit with the students.

"Chicago is a burglar's paradise," says a jurist who is in a position to know. Aside from that and a few other defects it is a good place to live in if one isn't particular.

Europe has now definitely decided that Tolstoi was insane. This may be true, but it seems as though a little more of that sort of insanity wouldn't hurt Europe any.

If the fashion of wearing tight trousers and padless coats comes into general use we know a great many supposedly brawny men who will dwindle woefully in appearance.

Many readers of newspapers have wondered at the meaning of those oft-repeated words found at the end of mysterious disappearance stories: "Detectives have been assigned to the case."