Quips on The News — Robbed While in Prison

1911

A California girl offers to sell to the government Lincoln pennies for $1 each. Next thing we know she will be asking someone to give her two tens for a five.

A man who was put in the Tombs prison for carrying concealed weapons was robbed while there of $600. Investigation might disclose the presence of thieves in the institution.

The New Jersey architect who designed a schoolhouse without any stairway evidently thought that the district should be up-to-date and bring in its upper floor scholars by airships.

Probably the woman who hid her life's savings in the cellar and awoke to find them stolen has reached the conclusion that our national banks are not the most risky things in the world.

Los Angeles has an 80-year-old citizen who says he will wed when he has reached the century mark. At any rate, it can hardly be said that he is rushing precipitately into matrimony.

A Pennsylvania justice has upheld the right of a wife to paint. The dispute had nothing to do with her earning a living by devoting herself to art, but was one involving her own facial decoration.

A savant breaks into print with the startling statement that "sowing wild oats" is harmful to youths. Let us hope the savant is not laboring under the impression that he has uttered a new thought.

Robbers broke into a jail in Pennsylvania a few nights ago and robbed the only prisoner of $20. People who go to jail in Pennsylvania should take the precaution of leaving their valuables at the desk.

New York aldermen have rejected a bill limiting the length of hat pins. Done in self-defense. No doubt every one of them had to go back home and face a woman armed with a couple of the dangerous things.

The kissing microbe has been often attacked as pernicious, but it is to be feared that people can no more be persuaded to give up the ancient practice of osculation than they can be made shy of accepting money which is suspected of conveying germs.

Actions, looks, words — steps from the alphabet by which you spell character. — Lavater.

Yesterday is certain; tomorrow, uncertain; today, half and half.