When a Man Marries He Marries Her Family

1915

Is He Supposed to Espouse Entire Family?

"Does a man marry his wife's family?" He claims he doesn't. But a prominent society woman declared not long ago that he does, no matter what he thinks about it, and more recently a prominent college professor made the same statement.

Looking around among one's acquaintances for evidence, it is a pretty general fact that the wife's family is more in evidence than the husband's. One hears more of the wife's kin, and the children seem to be better acquainted with relatives on the maternal side.

When mother's relatives come a-visiting they are made much of and given the run of the house. If any of father's relatives have the temerity to invite themselves for an extended visit there is a chill in the home atmosphere and nobody acts natural — least of all father, who is made to feel that he is imposing upon the good nature of his overworked spouse.

The wife's relatives feel that it is not only their right but their bounden duty to butt in, no matter what the circumstances. And usually the butt-in is accepted meekly and endured more or less amiably by the entire family. Any husband who is a gentleman will do his kicking away from home, or, if he cannot contain himself at the moment, go down and poke the furnace and commune with the cat.

And yet, on the whole, the wife's relatives seldom do the amount of damage that a husband's relatives can do, once they determine to make themselves felt.

When a husband's mother decides that his children are not being brought up right, or that his wife is extravagant or a poor housekeeper, etc., and that her interference is necessary, real trouble starts, not only for the man's wife but even more so for the man himself. His mother-in-law would never dare to attempt what his own mother will do to him.

The wife may have a ne'er-do-well brother who occasionally comes and camps upon her hospitality. But if the husband has such a brother, nine times in ten the brother has married and expects his more prosperous relatives to support a wife and numerous progeny.

As for fathers-in-law on both sides — they don't count appreciably. By the time a man becomes a father-in-law he has been so well-trained into his proper sphere that he wisely refuses to mix in any kind of family affairs that do not concern his finances. Anyway, there is usually a chord of sympathetic understanding between a man and his father-in-law, while every wife knows the wiles that will bind her father-in-law to her for ever and aye. — Philadelphia Bulletin.