Sunday Football Players Fight

New York, 1895

Miss Buckley Hurls a Stone at the Head of Player Twomey.

During the last half of the game of Gaelic football between the Shamrocks and Kickhams, at Wallace's Ridgewood park, Sunday afternoon, Miss Buckley, sister of Pat Buckley, captain of the Kickhams, picked up a heavy stone and threw it straight at the head of Twomey, one of the left wings of the Kickhams. Twomey saw the stone coming and ducked in time.

Shortly afterward several players of both teams began fighting. It was claimed that unfair methods were being used. A number of the Kickhams and Shamrocks were hurt and a free-for-all battle ensued. Field Umpire Maher was so severely punished that he will have to stay indoors at least a week. Maher is not certain as to who attacked him. He believes that there must have been at least a dozen persons who hit him. McIlroy, one of the Kickhams, was also badly hurt, His face was cut, nose broken, and his lips puffed up. He presented a sorry sight. He says that McMahon of the Shamrocks hit him. Several other players of the Kickhams were also injured.

—The Long Island Farmer, Jamaica, NY, March 1, 1895, p. 1.

Note: Original says, "picked up a heavy stone and through it..."

Boy Wonder at Tennis

1919

NEW YORK, N. Y. — Charles M. Wood, Jr., 14, of the Dewitt Clinton High School, playing in the semi-finals of the junior indoor national tennis championships here, easily won his match and displayed powerful service and speed at volleying. He is being hailed as a boy wonder.


Re-Elect Navy's Football Captain

ANNAPOLIS, Maryland — The members of the Naval Academy football team, who played against the Military Academy in the last game, have selected Edward C. Ewen, captain of the team during the season just passed, to lead them another year.

—The Saturday Blade, Chicago, Jan. 3, 1920, p. 10.

Teen Breaks Arm Five Times

1909

GRAND RAPIDS, Michigan — Forbidden by his parents to play football after he had broken his left arm three times in the game, 15-year-old William Eminger found that he could not even watch the game with safety to his delicate member. He was a spectator on the sidelines at a high school game and the team in a scrimmage fell over his chair. Eminger's arm was broken when one of the players landed on top of him. This makes the fifth time the arm has been broken. The only time football was not responsible Eminger broke it falling out of bed.


Love's Young Dream

LOS ANGELES, Cal. — When Levi Hall, who is of the impressionable age of eighty-nine years, went to call on Miss H. W. Coe, a fair and sprightly maiden of seventy-five summers, he was greatly surprised when John Moore, ninety years old, emerged from an adjoining room and began to belabor him with a stout hickory cane. Hall hurried from the home of his inamorata to the receiving hospital, and then to the police station, where he caused the arrest of his rival on a charge of battery. Hall does not believe that Miss Coe will think any the less of him because he retreated.


Makes High Flight Record

POTSDAM, Germany — Orville Wright, the American aviator, broke his own and all other records for high flying. He reached the unprecedented height of more than 1,600 feet, although an official measurement was not taken. He had a red-letter day in a double sense in his experience as an aviator, taking up Crown Prince Frederick William as a passenger and more than doubling the altitude record which he made recently over the same field.

In Chrysanthemumiam (poetry)

1898

In Chrysanthemumiam.

Say there,
You rosybuds
And lilypods,
And sweet pease,
And daffydowndillies,
And daisies,
And geraniums,
And all you other
Miss Nancies of the flowering world,
will you please go sprinkle yourselves,
And turn your weeping eyes on me?
Me,
The effulgent and iridescent full back
Of the Floral field?
The only blooming
Football player
In the whole botanical business.
There's nothing
Of the modest little violet style
In my ornate
And flocculent physiognomy.
And when it comes
To throwing boquets
I rather fancy
I'm the whole plate
Of cold slaw
Myself!
Don't I seem
To strike you that way?
I am also
A shredded sunburst of glory,
And when I rise and shine
There is but one light
By which the footsteps
Of the fleet and fading Flora
Are guided:
That's
The chrysanthemum!

—W. J. Lampton, in N. Y. Sun.

—Dubuque Herald, Dubuque, IA, Nov. 27, 1898, p. 3.

Is It Possible to Get Thoroughly Drunk In This Town?

1920—

Possible, But Not Probable

New Arrival Is Put Wise by Petunia Landlord

"Is it possible for a man to get thoroughly drunk in this town if he is willing to pay the price?" asked an arid arrival.

"Well, yes; I reckon it's possible," replied the landlord of the Petunia tavern. "But it don't hardly seem probably. You see the bootlegger takes you upstairs and down cellar and round and round like the ragged rascal ran round the rugged rock in McGuffey's old Third Reader, and so on and so forth, and then charges you 50 cents for cataracting three drops of diluted licker on your tongue with an eyedropper. Mebby a body could get drunk that way if he was rich enough, but it does seem like an awful waste of time, money and patience."


Generous
"When I was acting in Australia they presented me with a house."
"Nonsense!"
"Yes – a brick at a time!"


No Tax on Zeroes
Knicker – "Yes, sir; that man is one in a thousand."
Bocker – "And I suppose his three sons are the ciphers."



He Demanded Music With Football Game

Players Even Squelched Man With the Paper Horn

To make the event more attractive a brass band had been hired to play during an important football game. A goodly crowd assembled, but the musicians failed to appear.

After watching the game for about half an hour a bucolic looking gentleman, who had been giving vent to frequent snorts of disgust, made his way to the gate and indignantly demanded his money back.

"Never seen a game before today," he explained, "and I never want to see another! Them football players are too jealous for my liking. They don't give the band a chance!"

"But the band isn't here!" said the gatekeeper.

"There's one of 'em came at any rate," came the answer. "That fellow with the paper horn; but as soon as ever he starts to play the football fellows stop playing and threaten to punch his head!"

--The Saturday Blade, Chicago, May 22, 1920, page 9.