A Promoter of Pedestrianism

1902

"So you are going to get an automobile!"
"Yes," answered the man who is always thinking of his health. "The doctor says I must walk more."


A Conclusive Objection

"Poverty is no disgrace," said the young woman with ideas of her own.
"No," said Mrs. Cumrox; "it's no disgrace. But it certainly is extremely unfashionable." — Washington Star.


Softened Grief

Wilson — "I lost that fine silk umbrella that I carried in town to-day."
Mrs. Wilson — "Oh, what a pity!"
Wilson — "There is one consolation, it wasn't mine."—Somerville (Mass.) Journal.


Another Advance

She — "So you think the necessities of life are constantly advancing in price? For instance?"
He — "Well, the average fine for 'autospeeding' has advanced from $10 to $30 within a year." — Puck.


Correcting Him

Gabbleton (effusively) — "Why, hello, Grimshaw! Glad to see you're back."
Grimshaw (coldly) — "This is my face you are looking at, Gabbleton." — New York Journal.

Could Not See Into Future

1919

Men of Genius Had Little Idea What Their Inventions Might Mean to the World

It appears that it is not infrequently the case that great inventors do not comprehend the significance of the things they have produced. Here are two examples:

When Hertz first began to obtain satisfactory results from his now famous researches into the possibility of transmitting electric waves certain men of science suggested that some day similar vibrations might serve to transmit messages through space. Hertz laughed at the hypothesis and assured all comers that his experiments were for laboratories only. Now, after a few short years, it is hard to find a single issue of a daily newspaper that does not record some noteworthy example of the use of wireless telegraphy.

Levassor was the great engineer who sketched the automobile with such skill that his design has not been materially changed to this day. After Levassor accomplished his historic trip from Paris to Bordeaux and return at the dizzy speed of about 15 miles an hour his admirers gave him a banquet. During the toasts one of them, stirred by the spirit of the occasion, rose and enthusiastically called on the assembly to drink to the approaching day when carriages should travel at the speed of 60 miles an hour. Levassor turned to his nearest neighbor and asked in a quick undertone:

"Why is it that after every banquet some people feel called on to make fools of themselves?"


Only One Foundation

Men best prove their right to rights by making good in little things. Rights are those things that grow out of universal justice. In the last analysis they are beyond price. Some folks say they have bought the right to certain things. That is only because custom has commercialized them. Such rights savor of monopoly and are as unstable as the dollars with which they are purchased. Right that rests upon divine law may seem very tame, but after all it's the only right that abides amidst the rise and fall of empires and the changing customs of men. To such rights every man is heir. — Exchange.

Crime Time — Burglary, Reckless Riding, A Mysterious Call

Council Bluffs, Iowa, 1908

BURGLAR WAS A JACK-IN-BOX

Leaps Through Trap Door and Scares Servant Girl

Startled by seeing a man jump through the outside trap door of the furnace room a servant girl in the home of J. E. Wallace, 315 Oakland avenue, rushed up stairs Monday evening, and informed Mr. Wallace that there had been a burglar in the house.

Mr. Wallace reported the matter to the police, but the girl was able to give only a meager description of the man. She had gone down into the furnace room about 8:30 o'clock, and her sudden appearance startled the intruder, putting him to flight.

Harry Taylor and Renos Anderson, 19 and 16 years of age, were arraigned before Judge Snyder yesterday on the charge of fast and reckless riding. The case was continued until April 10 and the boys were released on good behavior, under orders from the court to appear on that date and give an account of themselves.

The boys were stopped by Deputy Marshal Crum in the midst of a race down Vine street, from First street to the police station, where they were taken in custody and later released on their own recognizance.

The hearing of the case of William Frisbie and George Drummond, charged by William Van Brunt with larceny, occupied considerable time before Judge Snyder, but the court held that while the evidence was strong, it was not sufficient to warrant their being bound over to the grand jury.

Frisbie refused to tell to whom he telephoned until pressed by the court, when he said he had called his home through a neighbor, not caring to call his own number for family reasons. He gave the number he had called to Deputy Marshal Crum, who inquired of the family whether Frisbie had called there, receiving a negative answer. Frisbie explained this by saying that he had not thought the people would care to answer for fear of being dragged into the family differences.

—The Daily Nonpareil, Council Bluffs, Iowa, March 11, 1908, p. 5.