The Jolly Jokers

1914

Detroit Free Press: "He married his stenographer."
"And I suppose she's doing the dictating now?"
"Yes, but he says he doesn't mind that much; he doesn't have to take it down."

London Opinion: The Optimist-"After all, marriage is the thing. If you marry the right woman there is nothing like it."
The Pessimist—"And if you marry the wrong woman, there is nothing like it!"

Louisville Courier-Journal: "Nero fiddled while Rome burned."
"Well, maybe it was the first chance he had ever gotten to hold an audience. Everybody will; stand around to watch a big fire."

Foolish Man
Cincinnati Enquirer—When a man offers another man anything free, he looks for the string. But when a strange woman smiles at him on the street he imagines she loves him for himself.

Mr. Wiggins (looking up from the newspaper): "It says that a cyclone out in America has swept away an entire town in one minute."
Mrs. Wiggins (gloomily): "And it takes Mary Ann half an hour to sweep our front steps."

How Did He Know?
"I think, father, that you do Arthur a great injustice when you say that he is penurious."
Precocious Brother — "What's penurious, father?"
Father—"Why, penurious, means close."
Precocious Brother — "Then you're right. That young man is awfully penurious when he comes to see Sis!"

Result of Training
Rehoboth Sunday Herald—"What do you think of her voice since it has been trained?" "Well," smiled Brown, "I can't say that it is any better than it was, but there is certainly a whole lot more of it."