The Old Joke of The Ventriloquist and His "Talking Dog"

1903

An old but still droll story is narrated of a talking dog to which the power of speech was seemingly given by the art of a ventriloquist. The dog and his master arrived at a hotel, the latter with only a quarter of a dollar in his pocket.

"Well, what will you have?" asked the proprietor.

"I'll take a little whisky," said the ventriloquist, and then, turning to the dog, he asked: "What will you have?"

"I'll take a ham sandwich," was the dog's reply.

The hotel-keeper was breathless for a moment from astonishment. He stared at the dog in amazement.

"What did you say?" he asked it.

"I said a ham sandwich."

The proprietor was so impressed by the unheard-of phenomenon of a talking dog that in the end he offered to buy it.

"Oh," said the ventriloquist, "I wouldn't sell him at any price; but if you'll lend me $30 I'll leave him with you till I bring back the money!"

To this the hotel-keeper agreed, thinking he would have some fun with his friends and neighbors. Everything was settled and the money paid. As the ventriloquist went out he turned and waved his hand to the dog.

"Well, goodbye, Jack!," he said. "I'll come back soon."

"You mean brute, to sell me for $30, after all I've done for you!" answered the dog. "I'll never speak another word as long as I live!" And he didn't.