Funnygraphs — "He Fell Unconscientious"

1900

McAisy — I do be seein' that Misther Hardin' has quit findin' out things. O'Deer — But whin did he ever begin?

It was the colored pugilist who said: "It on'y lasted one roun'. I landed on he chin and he fell unconscientious."

"What's the difference between wrath and a woman who wants you to subscribe for something?" "I dunno." "A soft answer turneth away wrath."

"Would you call a cat herbivorous, carnivorous or ominvorous?" asked the man who is learned, but tedious. "Neither," answered the man who yawns; "merely vociferous."

"You've got your linen suit on a trifle early, Hopkins," "Yes; but my folks are interested in a rummage sale; and when I carry my clothes around with me I know where they are."

A man smoking a cigarette boarded a Union traction car, and a woman handed him an anti-cigarette tract. "Thank you, ma'am," said he. "I'll take it home to my son." — Muncie Star.

He — A live donkey, you know, is better than a dead lion. She — Yes. He — Why are you looking around in that way? She — I'm looking for the dead lion that made the comparison pop into your mind.

Thompson — Jones was around early this morning to borrow my snow shovel. Robinson — Great Scott! What does he want with it this time of the year? Thompson — He doesn't want to use it now. Brown borrowed it last fall, and Jones didn't get a shot at it the whole winter, and he is determined Brown should not get ahead of him this year.