The Garden of Eden

1911

Joking Around with the News

Now we are told that the Garden of Eden was located at the North Pole. Possibly we shall learn also that Adam and Eve were Eskimos and ate of the forbidden blubber instead of the forbidden fruit.

A Boston young woman has been visiting dentists' offices and stealing money and other valuables from the wraps of the patients in the torture chamber. Here's another excuse for not going to the dentist when you ought to.

The New York doctor who asserts that overripe eggs are as nutritious as the fresh kind will not meet with violent objections if he tries to get a monopoly of eating the ancient vintage.

The hobble skirt and high trolley car steps have clashed in Trenton. The steps may have the logic of the situation, but the hobble skirt has the eternal feminine end of the discussion, and all human experience is a unit on what happens when logic attempts to tackle the eternal feminine.

One of the worst things under the sun is a shady reputation.

The following testimonial was given to a servant girl: "This is to certify that the bearer has been in my service one year less 11 months. During this time I found her to be diligent at the back door, temperate at her work, prompt at excuses, amiable toward young men, faithful to her sweethearts, and honest when everything was safe under lock and key."

Letter to Be Opened Century From Now

1914

AKRON, Ohio. — Mayor Rockwell wrote a letter to the person who will be mayor of Akron 100 years hence. The epistle tells the future mayor of the present debt, the names of all city officials, the problems confronting the municipality and the political situation in Akron in 1914.

The letter will be sealed and addressed to "His Honor, Mayor of Akron, 2014," marked with instructions not to be opened or molested until that year and placed in a bank deposit vault to lie for a century.

The salutation in the letter will fit either a man or a woman mayor.

Comment: So, I wonder what are the chances that this letter is still in the bank deposit vault waiting. Someone in Akron, please check into this.

Hears From Daughter Who Was Kidnapped 12 Years Ago

1910

PITTSBURGH, Nov. 2. — A letter in the mail of Francis E. Fairman, a notary, with offices in the Frick building, deeply interested him, but when he reached the bottom of the first page he leaped from his chair and shouted "My daughter. Thank heaven I have heard from her at last — the first time in twelve years since she was kidnapped from me."

In a few days the kidnapped girl, Edith May Fairman, aged 19, now a trained nurse in Norwalk, Conn., will come here to live with her father and brother.

When Fairman recovered his composure he said:

"Twelve years ago I was a prosperous business man in Brooklyn, N. Y. One day I went home from my office to find my wife had disappeared. She was tired of me, she said in a letter several months later. A month after she left I went to St. Louis, where I stayed six months as an engineer in the employ of the United States army. Then I returned to Brooklyn.

"One evening several weeks afterward I returned home from my office to find that my daughter had disappeared. Several months later a letter, dated at a town in Nova Scotia, demanded $10,000 for her return home. I didn't have that amount of money, so I went to Nova Scotia to see if I could find my daughter. I made five trips before I found her.

"Trains run only once a week from the little town where I recovered my daughter and while we waited at a hotel I allowed her to attend school. The first day she went to school she didn't return to me, and I haven't seen her since."

—New Castle News, New Castle, PA, Nov. 2, 1910, p. 6.

Mysterious Suicide — "I Hate To Go, But I Must"

Ohio, 1878

MYSTERIOUS SUICIDE ! !

ENVELOPED IN MYSTERY — NO CAUSE ASSIGNED FOR THE RASH ACT.

Early last evening, the streets were alive with rumors that a young man had shot himself. Our reporter ascertaining his residence, visited the scene; there he found a young man lying upon the bed, a ghastly wound in the right temple, evidently inflicted by his own hand; he was breathing heavily, and apparently near death's door. He was a strong, finely built young man aged about 20 years. His people know of no cause for the act of self-immolation. All they could say, was, that he came in about 5 o'clock, went to his room, then out to the wood-shed, and to his room again, when the shot was fired. There was supposed to be a young lady mixed up in the case; our reporter called upon the lady, but she was wholly reticent, and says that it does not concern the public. As it was known that the young man had written and sent a letter by carrier, to the lady, previous to the shooting, our reporter, after super-human efforts, succeeded in enabling us to place it before our readers:

"Marion, Ohio, Jan., 17: Dear friend Annie, I am going to leave this world, I am in trouble, and I must die; so good-bye, good-bye. Tell Jane and Katy to come to my burial, and come yourself. I hate to go, but I must; I would like to see you before I go, but I cannot; good-bye, good-bye. From yours, FRANK WEAVER."

From the tone of the letter, we should judge that the young lady had nothing to do with the cause of his taking off. She certainly seems deeply grieved. The funeral will be held to-morrow at 9 o'clock. His last words were, "I did it; no one is to blame but myself."

—Daily Star, Marion, Ohio, Jan. 18, 1878, p. 4.

Man Deserts Wife: "I've Stood All I'm Going To"

Webster City, IA, 1903

SENDS WIFE A PARTING NOTE

Declares He "Has Stood All He Is Going To:" — Webster City Man Deserts Family.

Webster City, March 18.—After writing his wife a note bidding her and her child goodbye and telling her that they would never see him again, I. E. Ingerston, a tinner, residing in rooms in the Syndicate block, suddenly disappeared and no word has been heard from him since. Ingerston is a young man who has been employed in the F. R. Mason & Son hardware establishment as tinner for some time. He is industrious and has always borne a good reputation. He was married about three years ago to Miss Levenia White of this city. They have one child about two years of age. Last Saturday night Ingerston severed his connection with the F. R. Mason & Son store. He was away from home all day Sunday but his wife had no intimation of his intentions. This morning the postmaster brought Mrs. Ingerston a letter which read:

"I've stood all I am going to. You'll never hear from me again. Take the furniture and do what you please with it — sell it, I don't care. "IKE."

Nothing was missing from the house but a few clothes. Mrs. Ingerston has no idea where her husband went, nor does she knew whether he will return. Mr. Ingerston has many friends in this city who think that he would not have taken this step without some reason.

—Davenport Daily Republican, Davenport, IA, March 19, 1903, p. 2.

Sad News Received: Man Thought Dead Dies

1917

MAN THOUGHT TO BE DEAD WRITES LETTER

George A. Stough Had Not Been Heard from Since 1900.

(Special to The Sentinel.)

Columbia City, Ind., July 28.—Attorney Joseph R. Harrison received a letter Friday addressed to his deceased wife, stating that her brother, George A. Stough, former ballplayer here and cornicemaker at Fort Wayne, who spent several years in Alaska during the Klondyke gold rush, had died July 20 at a San Francisco hospital and was buried the next day in Woodlawn cemetery.

Nothing had been heard from Mr. Stough since 1900, when he was seen in Nome, Alaska, by C. W. Tuttle, of this city, who was then United States commissioner at Sitka. It had been supposed Stough died several years ago. A brother died in Wyoming only a few months ago, and Stough died in all probability not knowing his sister, Mrs. Harrison, had passed away fourteen years ago. The deceased left a will, under which the principal beneficiaries are the children of Attorney Harrison, but it is not known whether Stough made his "stake" before passing away. Mr. Stough was 55 years of age.

—The Fort Wayne Sentinel, Fort Wayne, Indiana, July 28, 1917, page 8.

AN ABSOLUTE FALSEHOOD

-- To the Public: --

There seems to be a story going around that we, the undersigned stole some gas from the gas pump in front of the store of Graham Bros. at Webber, Kan., the night of November 5th. This is an absolute falsehood and anyone telling or repeating such a story, is telling an untrue and malicious tale.

(Signed) BEN YOUNG,
PERCY TAYLOR.

--probably from Superior, Nebraska newspaper

...and speaking of Graham Brothers of Webber, Kansas...

HIGH GRADE FOOD STORES - HGF STORES

SPECIALS
for
FRIDAY & SATURDAY
19 September 20

H.G.F. SOUP (Vegetable or Tomato) 2 cans 19¢
2# ITEN'S FAIRY SODA CRACKERS 29¢
H.G.F. LARGE MILK 3 cans 25¢
2# package RAISINS 19¢
H.G.F. BROOMS 69¢
#2½ H.G.F. FANCY YELLOW CLING PEACH HALVES in syrup 3 cans 69¢, per dozen 2.74
LEE OATS 9¢
SENSATION COFFEE 42¢
HERSHEY ¼# COCOA 2 for 19¢
H.G.F. APPLE BUTTER 23¢
LEE 4# GRIDDLE CAKE FLOUR 29¢
H.G.F. #5 WHITE CORN SYRUP 39¢
SUMMER GIRL MARSHMALLOWS 19¢
H.G.F. TOILET PAPER 2 rolls 19¢
#1 EMERALD ENGLISH WALNUTS 27¢

GRAHAM BROTHERS
Webber - Kansas

--unused postcard, 1¢ green Jefferson printed postage

MAMMA SHRINKS IN SIZE

My four-year-old son and I had gone to the city to do a bit of shopping and had stopped at a cafe to eat our lunch. We sat there listening to the juke box play that jitter-bug song, "Mr. Five by Five," when the waitress came to get our order. She was short and very fat. We gave our order, and as she started to walk away, my son said in a loud voice, "Mother was that Mrs. Five by Five?"

At that moment my name was

MRS. ONE BY ONE. -- Capper's Weekly