"Boots By The Quart"

1895

A Series of Remarkable Signs That Created Great Astonishment.

In South street, New York, there is an Italian who runs a Yankee notion stand. He speaks English after a fashion, but cannot read a word of it. This fact has made him an easy prey for a heartless joker.

His stock of goods includes almost everything from peanuts and chewing gum to suspenders and waterproof jumpers. Until recently he had displayed no placards, giving the prices of his wares, but the other day a man offered to paint all the signs that the Italian needed free of charge. The offer was joyfully accepted. The signs were painted and placed in position. Crowds were attracted to the spot, and visions of sudden wealth danced before the Italian's eyes. Here are some of the inscriptions painted by the mountebank:

"Cape Ann Boots! Only 50 cents a quart."

"Chewing Gum! All kinds, only 2 cents a yard."

They were prominently displayed near the top of the stand, but they were eclipsed by these a little lower down:

"Peanuts, raw or roasted, $2 a pint. Must be eaten here."

"Suspenders baked, fried or boiled, with edible buckles, 20 cents a plate."

The placard that won the most admiration and of which the innocent merchant was particularly proud was an oblong affair in gorgeous colors. It read:

Gold plated brushes, 5 cents
Diamond studs, 2 cents
Collar buttons, $10 each
All pocketknives, free

A few minutes after the signs had been put into place an old sailor was trying to buy two quarts of Cape Ann boots for $1, and the Italian was getting black in the face trying to make him understand that the boots were "Four dol' a pair." Many similar scenes were witnessed. Finally a sympathetic friend exposed the fraud to the victim, and the pasteboards were removed. — New York Recorder.

The Queer Joke That Eugene Field Played on a Printer

1907

A Maddening Prank

When Eugene Field was city editor of the Kansas City Times he found great amusement in annoying one of the characters employed on the paper. Ferguson was one of the "makeups" on the paper, and in Wyandotte, where he resided, just over the line from Kansas City, he was the leader of a local temperance society. For over a year Field, on coming down to the paper to go to work, would write a personal concerning Ferguson. Generally it ran like this: "Mr. John Ferguson, the well known 'makeup' of the Times composing room, appeared for work yesterday evening in his usual beastly state of intoxication." This entertaining bit Field would send down in a bundle of copy, and the others of the composing room would set it up and say nothing.

Poor Ferguson knew that this awful personal was in their midst and every night would go carefully over every galley for the purpose of locating and killing it. It gave him vast trouble. Every now and then Field would not write his personal about Ferguson, and then the bewildered Ferguson was worse off than ever. As long as he could not find it it might still be there. It almost drove the poor man off the paper. Now and then it escaped his eagle eye and was printed. On such occasions Ferguson's burdens were beyond the power of even a Christian spirit to bear.

Students Take A Cow Up Two Flights

1900

Sensational Acts of Students of Mount Union College

Alliance, Ohio, Oct. 27. — At midnight last night 100 students of Mount Union college, robed in white and closely masked, obtained entrance to the ladies' hall by breaking in a window sash. President Riker's family cow, which had been captured, was then taken into the building and shoved and carried up two flights of stairs to the third story and securely tethered.

Then, amid cheers and songs, the students made their way to the college, overpowered the watchman and overturned the stoves and piano and threw all movable furniture out of the windows. The family were then serenaded, after which the white-robed figures made their way downtown and ended up the night's demonstration with a war dance on the public square.

It is expected that any action from the faculty as a result of demonstration will meet with concerted resistance.


Grandpa's An Ape?

At a dinner-party a young man was once talking rather foolishly about Darwin and his books, speaking very contemptuously of them, and be said to the Bishop of Winchester (Wilberforce): "My Lord, have you read Darwin's last book on the 'Descent of Man'?" "Yes, I have," said the Bishop; whereupon the young man continued: "What nonsense it is, talking of our being descended from apes! Besides, I can't see the difference it would make to me if my grandfather was an ape." "No," the bishop replied, "I don't see that it would; but it must have made an amazing difference to your grandmother!"


100 Years Ago

Just a hundred years ago last July the Frenchman Lebon made the first public demonstration of the use of gas for illuminating purposes.

Worriers Mark Woman Victim

Iowa, 1914

Des Moines, Jan. 15. — Professional "worriers" have marked Mrs. Lena M. Ellis, 827 West Fifth street. She has appealed to the police. Here are some of the "things" that "happened" to her:

Between 5:30 and 6 o'clock yesterday afternoon, the following arrived at her home:

An undertaker looking for a dead person.
A woman masseur who "came to massage Edna."
Taxicab.
Packer of ice cream.
Case of pop.
Case of beer.
Box of flowers.
Telephone call for "Edna" to meet her "lover" at a downtown cafe right away.
About fifteen telephone calls from "women" asking for Mrs. Ellis' husband.

Mrs. Ellis says she is on the verge of nervous prostration. Her telephone rings almost constantly and sometimes a woman and sometimes a man addresses remarks to her. A local store called her yesterday, informing her she had ordered sherbet glasses and asked her to again state how many she wanted.

Mrs. Ellis admits she is acquainted with two sisters who were connected with similar deals several months ago. She declares, however, that she has not done anything to offend them. Who the man in the case is Mrs. Ellis says she does not know. The police, however, have suspicions. "Edna" is unknown to Mrs. Ellis.

Since two of the girls implicated in the former "worrying stunts" were caught in a trap set by detectives, residents have been at rest. However, this latest outbreak leads the police to believe that the "gang" is back in the city. For that reason people are urged to be on their guard.

Mrs. Ellis says that her husband has not been at her home for six months. She does not believe, however, that he knows anything of the case. She says that the things sent to her home were not ordered by her, but that the deliverymen always insisted that a woman who claimed to live at 827 Fifth street gave the order.

Dead Man's Spirit Rings Fire Bell, Is Ouija's Solution of the Mystery

1920

WATERTOWN, N. Y. -- For several days there was considerable excitement and wonderment among all classes of citizens here caused by the mysterious tolling at regular intervals during day and night of the huge fire alarm bell in the county courthouse tower. The big bell weighs several tons and its reverberations can be heard five or six miles on a still day. For nearly a week, at intervals of about two hours, the bell was struck a single blow, apparently by the heavy electrically-operated hammer adjusted to announce the number of the fire box from which an alarm is sent in.

When the mysterious tollings first began the police and other city officials attributed the cause of the disturbance to crossed electric wires, but later, when it was noticed that the big bell continued to peal forth its single mournful signal, detectives were sent out to solve the mystery. Wires were traced by regular linemen of the telegraph and telephone companies, but nowhere could they discover any crossed circuit that could possibly affect the big alarm bell.

Girls Offer Solution of Mystery

No acceptable explanation was forthcoming from any source until Miss Sadie Jasper and Miss Rhoda Benton came forward with what they claimed was undoubtedly the true solution of the mystery. Through their manipulation of a Ouija board, they said, they had received several communications from "Big Joe" Beals, the first man employed to ring the bell after the hammer had ceased to strike the number of the fire alarm box, which was the custom twenty-five years ago when the bell was first installed.

"Big Joe," as he was popularly known and who died about fifteen years ago, had communicated with them several times, the girls said, on each occasion confessing that it was his spirit that was causing the bell to ring, evidently by unseen and unknown hands. "You cannot know how I love to strike the old bell with the blacksmith's hammer I found in the basement of the courthouse."

According to "Big Joe's" alleged spirit, which said it was pleased to communicate with the living through the instrumentality of the wonderful Ouija board, it had selected the final moment of every second hour to tap the bell, but had about decided to reduce the number of taps to two each day -- one at noon, another at midnight.

when the bell remained silent throughout the day, save at noon and midnight, and the Misses Jasper and Benton again reported further messages from the old-time bell ringer, the police and hundreds of others were inclined to accept the Ouija board as the true explanation of the mystery, and naturally the city was greatly aroused by the sensational developments.

Boy Upsets Ouija Board's Story

But no one here cares to even mention the Ouija board just now. The "baffling mystery" of the tolling bell is a mystery no more. A certain 13-year-old grammar school boy has confessed that with the aid of an amateur telegrapher's outfit, a dozen or more feet of wire, etc., he had made connection with the fire bell in the tower through a window of his sleeping room, all of which was nicely concealed by a large tree, and he had had much "big fun," all by himself, he said, operating the electrical hammer and causing the bell to toll at his will. The lad escaped a fine for his disorderly conduct on his promise to not do such a thing again.

Meanwhile, the two young ladies still insist that they only reported what the Ouija board told them.

--The Saturday Blade, Chicago, March 27, 1920, page 9.

On the Origins of April Fool's Day

1922

WATCH YOUR STEP TODAY

This is April Fool's Day When Practical Jokes Are Always in Order — Custom Has Interesting Origin.

Today is the day of the practical joke, that day when anyone is privileged to play practical jokes upon his friends. So watch your step, for a joke lingers in every moment of the day.

The origin of "April Fool's Day" is lost in the mists of antiquity. By some the custom is traced back to the days of the miracle plays given at Easter time. In the decadent days of these dramas, the actors literally made fools of themselves. A "Feast of Fools" was always held in the early spring by the ancient Romans and for a great many years the Hindus have celebrated the vernal equinox as a saturnalia. The chief amusement at these festivals seems to be that of sending people on fruitless errands and thus fooling them.

Many trace the origin of the custom back no further than France in the 16th century. France was the first nation to adopt the new calendar making the first of the year fall on January 1 instead of April 1. Many persons continued to send New Year's gifts and felicitations on April 1 instead of on the new date, and hence subjected themselves to taunts for going on visits that had no meaning.

Our slang expression "You poor fish" doubtless had an "April Fool" origin. The French called the victim of a prank on April 1, "Un poisson d'avril" or "an April fish," from which our expression arose. The origin of the expression probably arose in the comparison between the person who "bites" unwillingly on a joke and the April fish, who is a young fish and hence easily caught.

—Oneonta Daily Star, Oneonta, New York, April 1, 1922, page 5.

Erie Bridegroom Kept Imprisoned By Friends

He Managed to Escape in Time for the Ceremony.

ERIE, Pa., May 10—A flurry was created among Erie's society folk late Saturday afternoon when a half page display advertisement in a local newspaper offered $1,000 reward for the return of George C. Russell in time for a wedding at 8 o'clock Saturday night.

There was consternation at the home of C. W. Farrar, whose daughter, Miss Marianne Farrar, was to be the bride. Russell managed to escape the jokers who had taken him in charge in time not to delay the ceremony.

--Warren Evening Mirror, Warren, Pennsylvania, May 10, 1909, page 1.