Horsewhipped Her Husband

New York, 1895

Mrs. Margaret Walters, of Uniondale, near Rockville Centre, horsewhipped her husband on Monday for getting drunk. She ordered a saloon keeper named Duryea not to sell liquor to her husband. She went to the saloon and saw her husband, half drunk, climbing out of a window to avoid her. She caught him and thrashed him. Duryea subsequently assaulted Mrs. Walters, she says, and beat her shamefully.

—The Long Island Farmer, Jamaica, N.Y., Jan. 18, 1895, unknown page number.

Why John Quit Drinking (1916 Advertisement)

1916

By John's Wife

I'm the happiest little woman,
In all this little town;
And my merry laugh and singing,
Takes the place of sigh and frown.
For JOHN HAS QUIT HIS DRINKING
And is like himself once more,
And the world is just a paradise
With such happiness in store!

One day I read some verses—
"Mary's Miracle," the name,
And I said, that's John exactly,
And I'll send and get the same.
So I sent for GOLDEN TREATMENT.
(As sly as sly could be)
And I put it in John's supper
And I put it in his tea.

And it didn't taste a little bit;
Had no odor, so, you see—
It was smoothest kind of sailing
For little Doctor Me.
And I watched and prayed and waited,
(And cried some, too, I guess),
And I didn't have the greatest faith,
I'm ashamed now to confess.

And John never thought a minute,
He was being cured of drink,
And soon he's as well as any one,
It makes me cry to think!
Just makes me cry for gladness,
I'm so proud to be his wife—
Since he is cured of drinking,
And leads a nice, new life.

"Since John he quit a-drinking!"
I can't any it times enough!
And hates and loathes a liquor
As he would a poison stuff.
And when I say my prayers at night
As thankful as can be—
I pray for John the most of all—
Then GOLDEN TREATMENT.

Home Treatment For Drunkards

Odorless and Tasteless — Any Lady Can
Give It Secretly at Home in Tea, Coffee or Food.

Costs Nothing to Try.

If you have a husband, son, brother, father or friend who is a victim of liquor, all you have to do is to send your name and address on the coupon below. You may be thankful as long as you live that you did it.

Dr. J. W. Haines Company.

—The Saturday Blade, Chicago, Sept. 16, 1916, p. 7.

Will Not Kiss Their Wives

1901

Thirteen Married Men of Mount Hope, Kansas, Form an Organization.

Thirteen men of Mount Hope, a small town near Wichita, Kan., are adherents of the belief that men should not kiss women, says the Chicago Record-Herald. All of the 13 are married, and they have just formed a club known as the Mount Hope Married Man's Anti-kissing club.

All the members are quite prominent in business circles of that place, and the organization of the club was kept under cover for three weeks, but the secret finally leaked out, In a statement to reporters President Wilson said:

"All this talk about our wives going to sue us for divorce because we have pledged not to kiss them is rot of the worst kind. We went into this with the understanding that it was to be carried out as an experiment, and we will stick to it if the women uphold us in it. Of course, every member has taken a pledge not to kiss his wife for one year, but there is a proviso that if we all get tired of the proposition we can disorganize the club and no one will have broken a pledge.

"I have been into it now three weeks and am perfectly satisfied with the arrangement, as is my wife. I find that kissing is a filthy habit and without it man can love a great deal more strongly."

How Accidents Become Habits

1901

As to our mannerisms, says a writer in the Baltimore Sun, at first they are accidents, and afterward they become habits. It is singular how easy it is to convince a credulous public that a misfortune is a gift, just as an eccentricity is a mark of genius.

Your correspondent knows a lady who was asked in marriage by several gentlemen (for where one pastures others will follow), although she was neither beautiful nor clever nor rich but because she was affected with a trembling of the lids. In her inmost heart she who addresses you believes the trembling began with nervousness, but it was universal, and after a little what was curious began to be regarded as fascinating.

At any rate I know a well established, portly lady, married to a man who secured her, not without difficulty, whose only sorrow is the necessity of keeping up the girlish habit which procured her a spouse. He is not a sentimentalist, but he wants what he paid for. He married her because her eyelids trembled, and not unnaturally he wishes to be possessed of the same treasure.

Hubby's Helping Hand

1920

We see no reason under the sun why a husband should not do chores around the family home, wash dishes, make beds, sweep, mop and dust. Nor do we see a good reason for a husband seeking to make a wife pay him for putting paint on the front steps or doing necessary repairing with nails. Our opinion, thus publicly expressed, says the New York Morning Telegram, is upheld by the learned jurist, Vice Chancellor Backes of New Jersey.

George W. Newberry has a home at Belmar, N. J., and lived there with his wife. He now is having law difficulties with Mrs. Newberry, which have nothing to do with what we are considering. In the course of the legal contests Mr. Newberry put in a bill for work done around the house and other chores. Newberry demanded $2,600 for doing these chores around the place.

This first-rate judge said: "If I were to allow your claim, any husband who washes dishes for his wife might ask $8 a week. This kind of work is a gift."

That is just what it is — a gift. The dishes that he washes are as much his as his wife's. The floor he sweeps and the beds he makes and the steps that he paints are his as well as his wife's.

We are pleased, we repeat, that the status of idle husbands has been fixed by Jersey law. It has been said that a "woman's work is never ended." It will be ended, and the woman can rest and enjoy life if the husband takes a hand in doing the housework.

—The Saturday Blade, Chicago, Jan. 3, 1920, p. 6. (Some errors were corrected to make sense of one passage. A random phrase, "an order, also, forbidding Mr. Newberry from interfering with his wife's property." was part of the article as well.)

Before and After

1910

The young Prince Tsai-Tao, during his visit to America, welcomed criticism of Chinese customs, and retorted politely with counter criticism of the customs of the United States.

The prince, at a fashionable luncheon in New York, sat beside a lady prominent in a rich and rather fast set.

"Prince," said this lady, "I think it's dreadful that in China a bride never sees her husband before the wedding day."

"Well," said the prince, with a grin, "here in America you never see him after it."

Little Waldo Suffers

1910

"It's disgusting," said Mrs. Waldo Beaconhill of Boston; "the makers of children's blocks never think of putting Greek letters on them; and there is my poor little Emerson simply dying of ennui for the want of a good fairy tale in words of moderately extensive syllabification."



Slap on the Wrist

Tightwad — Did you ever notice, my dear, that nearly all these misers reported in the papers are single men?
Mrs. Tightwad — Yes; but that's only natural. Married misers are too common to be worth mentioning.

You Ought To Have a Wheel Hoe

1917

A wheel hoe is the gardener's best friend; with it one man can do as much work in two hours as he can in six with the old-fashioned common hoe. It saves laborious stooping, makes the work easier and does it better. These hoes have several attachments such as drills, cultivators and different-sized hoes, making it suitable for crops of all kinds and sizes. If a man is too lazy to attend to his own garden, his wife will find the use of the wheel hoe very comforting.


His Dress

When a girl falls in love with a young man she wishes he would wear some other kind of necktie.


Handicapped

"Ernest, were you looking through the keyhole last night at your sister and me?" "Honest, I wasn't. Mother was in the way."

Massachusetts Court Severe on Husbands

1896

According to the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court husbands can no longer rule their wives. The Court says, in rendering a recent decision:

"By virtue of this legislation a married woman becomes, in the view of the law, a distinct and independent person from her husband, not only in respect to her right to own property, but also in respect to her right to use her time for the purpose of earning money on her sole and separate account. She may perform labor, and is entitled to her wages and earnings. If she complies with the statutory requirement as to recording a certificate she may carry on any trade or business on her sole and separate account, and take the profits, if profits there are, as her separate property."

Her husband can appropriate neither her earnings nor her time, but he is obliged to support her as in the old regime. He has few rights left, though, for, "to a certain limited extent, as for example, in fixing the domicile and in being responsible under ordinary circumstances for its orderly management, the husband is still the head of the family." — New York Press.

A Family Quarrel, Sudanese Style

1899

Family quarrels are always tragic for those concerned, but for outsiders they occasionally contain an element of comedy. This is certainly true of sundry families of the most primitive type. We quote a single instance from "Under the African Sun," by W. J. Ansorge, a medical officer in the British service.

Imam Abdalla Effendi, a Sudanese officer in command at Kibero, had seven wives and five children. I was sent to enforce a judicial decision in favor of one of his wives, who had lately been divorced and demanded her dowry back.

He at once told me how his undutiful wife, instead of serving him with dinner, had thrown it at his head, and how, under the great provocation, he had divorced the woman. I told him I had not come to hear an argument, but simply to enforce a sentence. As a specimen of what one has to put up with from the natives, I give a few sentences of what was said on the occasion.

I: You are to refund this woman her dowry.

He: Heaven knows I have done so already.

She: It's a lie! He has only given me eight yards of silk.

He: I call Heaven to witness. I have nothing. She: It's a lie! He has cows, goats and sheep. And so the squabble went on. I insisted. Imam trembled for his best cow, and finally I suggested five sheep as an appropriate amount, and told him that if he selected the worst in his flock the woman should have the cow. Frightened at this, Imam brought out five beautiful animals, and wiping the perspiration from his face, he entreated the woman to accept them and depart. This she was graciously pleased to do. — Youth's Companion.

Mortuary Lore: Curious Epitaphs

1900

Clockmaker Expresses Hopes in Hereafter

Collecting epitaphs is not a particularly cheerful sort of hobby, but a well-known Philadelphia business man has acquired the grewsome fad, and is now thoroughly saturated with all sorts of mortuary lore.

Curious epitaphs find their way into print from time to time, many of which bear small traces of authenticity, and these are eagerly sought after by the collector in question, who inserts them in a book which he keeps for that purpose. His great pride, however, is in the inscriptions which he has seen with his own eyes, and copied from tombstones which have come under his own observation. He has traveled extensively, and it doesn't make any difference where he is, whether in an old English cathedral town or a "boom" city of the far west, his first question is, "Where is your most interesting burying-ground?"

While in England last summer he came across a couple of rather curious epitaphs in the old churchyard at Balsover, in Derbyshire. One read as follows: "Here lies in a horizontal position the outside case of Thomas Hindle, clock and watchmaker, who departed this life wound up in hope of being taken in hand by his Maker, and being thoroughly cleaned, repaired and set a-going in the world to come, on the 15th of August, 1836, in the nineteenth year of his age."

The following, from the same churchyard, is a curious instance of economy such as one seldom encounters — that of a man being buried in the same grave with his three wives, and with but one stone to mark their final and collective resting place. Following is the inscription: "Sacred to the memory of Margaret Armstrong, wife of William Armstrong of Balsover Moor, who departed this life Aug. 2, 1835, aged 33 years. Also William Armstrong, who died Dec. 10, 1862, aged 67 years. Also Ann, second wife of the above, who died Feb. 21, 1838, aged 28 years. Also Charlotte, third wife of the above, who died June 4, 1864, aged 42." — Philadelphia Record.

Managing a Husband

1910

Men are like children; they want managing, although you must never let them dream that you think so. No child likes to be ordered about, no man will endure coercion. But managing! It is an art so subtle, so elusive, that few women understand even the rudiments of it.

Sisters mine, let us reason together, says Woman's Life. In every human being there is a spark of the divine; it is yours to fan that spark into a flame — that is managing a man — it is to get the very best out of him there is to have, and not two women in ten can do it. Do not think that there is anything unworthy in managing a man — to bring out the best is a high vocation.

Only let us see to it that we are worthy of it. There are women who have made angels of men, but at the cost of their own divinity. There is room for more than one unselfish person in a family.


His Bad Break

"Will you love me when I am old?" she whispered. "Didn't I tell you that I love you now?" he responded. And she didn't speak to him again for a whole week.


Not Risking a Quarrel

Heiress-Tell me truly, Arthur, is it your love or your reason prompts you to marry me? Arthur—Just as you like, dearest.


To Credit's Discredit

Business will have its periodical reverses so long as a man who couldn't pay cash for a wheelbarrow is able to buy an automobile on credit.