Kissing His Sister

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Only Sensible Course
A Chicago man has been arrested for kissing his sister. This ought to convince a good many men that the only sensible course is to kiss some other fellow's sister.
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Such Is Fame
A story is told of the Englishman who was presented to Mrs. Ole Bull and said, "I have heard of your husband's adventures in the 'Far West.'" He was thinking of Sitting Bull.
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The Child and the Telephone
A child should be taught as early as possible to call at least one telephone number, a neighbor, father's place of business, or physician. I taught our little boy, who is just three, to call a neighbor's number, and twice have found it useful, once when taken very ill, and again having burned my arm badly.he was able to call and receive immediate assistance. -- Harper's Bazar.
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Wild Justice
Revenge is a kind of wild justice which the more a man's nature runs to the more ought law to weed it out. -- Bacon.
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There Kinds of Friends
We have three kinds of friends: Those who love us, those who are indifferent to us, and those who hate us. -- Chamfort.
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Prometheus Outdone
Prometheus had just stolen the fire from heaven. "That's nothing; can you light a last match?" we cried. Thus he realized his feat was little.

--The Ellis Review-Headlight, Ellis, Kansas, 1911.