Worse Scrapes Possible

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Nowadays
Jenkins (humorously) - Well, do you or your wife rule in the household?
Benedict (seriously) - Neither. We live under a provisional government by the cook.
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Had Been in a Worse Scrape
Damocles saw the suspended sword.
"That's nothing," he cried, "I've sat between two women with hatpins!"
Thus they saw he could not be scared.
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It takes more than a stinging vocabulary to make a prophet.
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What Happened
Fate - Did you call?
Opportunity - Yes, but she sent word by her servant she wasn't in. -- Harper's Bazar.
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No one can measure the fortune of the man who leaves many friends.

--The Ellis Review-Headlight, Ellis, Kansas, 1911.