Missouri Corncob Pipe Smokers in Debt

----------
Twenty-five million persons smoked Missouri corncob pipes last year, and half of them borrowed the tobacco.
----------
Along with taxing bachelors why not give away a marriage license deluxe and a first payment on a parlor set.
----------
At the same time we are forced to admire the bravery of those young women who walk abroad in harem skirts.
----------
"Love is love," opines an expert on heartology, name unknown. Likewise pigs is pigs and prunes is prunes.
----------
We see by the papers that France is facing a crisis. It strikes us that facing crisis is a chronic disease in France.
----------
We are told that Russia has hurled another ultimatum at China. If the czar keeps on he won't have any ultimatums left.
----------
Wagner in English is promised for next season. We can't understand why. The words are always unintelligible, anyhow.

--The Ellis Review-Headlight, Ellis, Kansas, 1911.