THE PASSING SHOW

First Burglar -- Hello, Pard; I haven't seen ye since you cracked dat crib on Jenkins street. Git anything?
Second Burglar -- Yes, but I didn't know it until about a week afterward. I got de measles. -- Boston Transcript.

Hobbs -- I understand you are living next to the cemetery out your way. How do you like it?
Dobbs -- First rate, good neighbors. Quiet and peaceable. And they haven't borrowed a thing from us since we've been there. -- Boston Transcript.

"I spent some of my salary today. I think even a married man has the right to do that, don't you?"
"Well, there's a great deal to be said on that subject."
"That's true, and, believe me, there will be as soon as I get home." -- Boston Transcript.

Ethel -- Papa, did mother accept you the first time you proposed to her?
Father -- Yes, my dear; but since then she has scornfully rejected any proposal that I have ever made. -- Life.

"It can't be the rule that men are governed largely by associations in their actions."
"What makes you think so?"
"Because if it were, street corner orators would never take their stand on soap boxes." -- Baltimore American.

Jessica -- Oh, you needn't pretend you can sympathize. What do you know about being in love with the wrong man?
Janice -- Well, I am having two nerves killed and a tooth crowned. -- Judge.

Bill -- And don't you think the old time pirate ships were more decent than the submarines of today?
Jill -- Why, of course. The old time pirate ships were on the level. -- Yonkers Statesman.

1917