Funny Lines From 1900

1900

The lawyer who attends to his own business is a sort of legal tender.

In the eyes of the bibulous the fellow who carries a corkscrew is never a bore.

The somnambulist who tumbles from a roof is an illustration of one way to fall asleep.

No, Maude, dear, people who are regarded as the salt of the earth are not to be found in the cellars.

It is a source of consolation to the married man to know that there are lots of bald-headed bachelors.

Some men seem to think that when their wives begin to spoon it means that they are expected to fork over.

The reason a woman can never hold the mirror up to nature is because she is too busy looking in it herself.

Nell — They say she is two-faced.
Bell — Yes; I've seen her in the morning before she had a chance to make up.

First Doctor — That sick man is a conundrum to me.
Second Doctor — What did you do?
First Doctor — I gave him up.

Blobbs — So Bjones has married his deceased wife's sister.
Slobbs — Yes; he didn't want to take chances with a new mother-in-law. — Philadelphia Record