More Jokes

1916

The Short Course

When James A. Garfield was president of Oberlin college, a man brought for entrance as a student his son, for whom he wished a shorter course than the regular one.

"The boy can never take all that in," said the father. He wants to get through quicker. Can you arrange it for him?"

"Oh, yes," said Mr. Garfield. He can take a shorter course; it all depends on what you want to make of him. When God wants to make an Oak, He takes a hundred years, but He takes only two months to make a pumpkin."


Young Poultryman

The teacher had recited "The Landing of the Pilgrims." Then she requested each pupil to draw from his or her imagination a picture of Plymouth Rock.

Most of them went to work at once, but one little fellow hesitated, and at length raised his hand.

"Well, Willie, what is it?" asked the teacher.

"Please, ma'am, do you want us to draw a hen or a rooster?"


A Blunder

It was bathing time and from the bedroom of twin boys came the sound of hearty laughter and long crying. Their father went up to find the cause. "What's the matter up here?" he inquired.

The laughing twin pointed to his weeping brother. "Nothing," he giggled; "only nurse has given Alexander two baths and hasn't given me any at all."


Nothing Very Serious

Mrs. Casey — Och, Pat, whin the docther told yez ye had something wid a Latin name to it a yar-rd long, didn't it scare yez?
Casey — Faith, it did, Norah, darlint. But whin he only charged me a dollar, Oi knew it didn't amount to much.