He Got His Pay

1895

An Odd Coincidence That Occurred Between Borrower and Lender.

"Here is one of the odd coincidences of life," said my friend Williams. "Some time ago an acquaintance came to me and told me he was in great need of $15, and at considerable trouble to myself I let him have it. He promised to return it in a few days.

"When three weeks had elapsed, I mentioned the matter to him casually, and he was profusely apologetic — would send it to me the following day sure. It didn't come, though, nor did I get any word from him. About two weeks after that I met him in Broadway. He declared it was a shame I hadn't got my money and vowed he wouldn't let another day pass without paying me.

"It went along then for a week or ten days, and, as my expenses were very heavy, I was considerably embarrassed and needed the money badly. One night, when I was feeling particularly discouraged, I sat down and wrote him a note. I said: 'My Dear Sir — About six weeks ago I loaned you $15. Lest the paying it should occasion you any inconvenience allow me to hereby make you a present of the money.'

"That will bring it, if anything will, thought I. Judge of my surprise when by the next morning's mail I received a letter from the man inclosing the $15. By the same mail exactly he must have received mine making him a present of it, and by the dates both letters were evidently written at about the same hour." — New York Herald.

The Money In His Pocket

1901

A young Pittsburger arose from his bed one morning and, dressing, went down stairs to breakfast. As he sat at the table he carelessly put his right hand into his trousers pocket and was surprised to find $7.25. He knew that when he retired for the night he had just 25 cents and had fallen asleep while wondering where he could borrow money the next morning. He was highly elated over the discovery, for, although he thought long and hard, he could not remember how he had come into the possession of the money. After work that day he took a friend to the opera and later to supper. When he returned home about midnight, a brother stopped into his room and said, "Harry, did you pay that bill for me today?"

The young man was almost dumbfounded. It all came to him at once. Shortly after he had retired the previous night his brother had entered the room and, placing the money in his trousers pocket, said: "Say, old man. when you go down town tomorrow, I wish you would pay Mr. — that bill I owe him. I promised to let him have it by tomorrow."

The young man was dozing at the time, and that accounts for his failure to remember what his brother had said to him. He was kept busy borrowing from friends to make up the amount the next day, and he declares that hereafter his brother will have to pay his own bills. — Pittsburgh Chronicle.

Holding His Job For Him

1901

"Of all the excuses I have ever heard from people for not paying their bills," said a collector for a prominent firm the other day, "I got the neatest today from a very wealthy man who always owes the house a bill. No matter whether the bill is for $10 or $100, he always pays $5. I have gone back the next week and got $5 more, and once I went back twice in one week, and he paid me $5 each time and seemed glad to see me. I got to know him pretty well, and the other day I asked him why he did not pay it all, as I knew he had the money."

" 'Well,' said the old fellow, "if I pay you everything I owe you at one time you will collect so fast that pretty soon you will be out of a job for the want of something to collect.'

"I don't know whether that was his reason or not, but I let the subject drop and am just going around there now for another $5. — Memphis Scimitar.

Practical Joke Lands Pair in County Jail

1920

Dance Promoters Get Free Dinner, but "Never Again!"

ST. JOSEPH, Mo., Feb. 26. — A little practical joke landed Frank Mahaney and his bosom friend, Toble Resnik, in the county jail, where they were kept for several hours before they could convince the officers that they were only joking. Now, when they are asked about practical jokes, they raise their hands and exclaim: "We're off that stuff!"

It all came about this way. Mahaney, who is a dancing master, was to give a grand ball in the opera house at Savannah. At 2 o'clock in the afternoon he and Resnik drove into Savannah and went to look over the hall and arrange the preliminaries for the evening's fun. But the fun came a long time before that.

When they came down half an hour later they found a great crowd congregated around their car examining a bottle of distilled water. When a fellow asked if it was their alcohol Mahaney answered in the affirmative, and added that "it's good stuff at that."

Then it was all over but the shouting, for the next act opened with Mahaney and Resnik in the county jail. Their only compensation was that they had a free dinner at the expense of the jailer. They were released from the bastile in time to "go on with the dance."


It Merely Saved Time

A rich old fellow refused a friend the loan of $50. "I did not expect that of you," said the friend bitterly, "and I will never forgive you for your refusal." "Of course, you won't, my dear fellow," said the other; "but if I lent you the $50 you wouldn't have repaid me, and we should have quarreled about that — so it's as well to get the row over at once. Good morning!"